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Ever Watched An 'Egg And Spoon' Race'?

whitecap79@hotmail.co.uk (klahanie) — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 21:57:00 +0000

Have you ever watched an 'egg and spoon' race? Well, I've observed a few egg and spoon races and the outcome has always been the same. Agonisingly close, the egg ends up winning, because the 'dish ran away with the spoon'.
Do you think that spoons like 'spoonerisms'? If a spoon could talk; would it get its 'metters lixed'? Well, frankly, I don't 'shive a git'. 'Swoving miftly on....
'Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle'. So what's that all about? 'The cow jumped over the moon. The little dog laughed to see such fun and the dish ran away with the spoon'. So, just what is it all about? It is about illuminating the minds of children of all ages. Creativity and wonderment knows no boundaries.

Our friend, the spoon, despite losing the race, never gives up. For, our friend, the spoon, knows that one day soon, it will win the race. Does this happy spoon stir your imagination?

Where's Noddy's Car?

whitecap79@hotmail.co.uk (klahanie) — Sat, 30 Jan 2010 01:27:00 +0000

Last Monday I went for a test drive. This would be the first time that I had been behind the wheel of a car in just over two years. This would be the first time since the night an ambulance crashed into my car at a roundabout. Would I be calm? Would I be calm at a roundabout? Would the possible screaming siren of an emergency vehicle trigger a reaction of hysterical panic? Heck, would I recall which side of the road to drive on?
I got into the car and took a deep breath. The key went into the ignition and the car started up. So far, so good. Into gear and down the road, my nerves, my anxiety, began to flow away. It had been more than a test drive. This was a statement that I could challenge my fears and continue along in my own personal journey towards a better life.
I purchased the car. Today, Friday, I drove back the few, familiar miles to my home. I pulled up in front of my house, stopped the car, turned off the engine and tears streamed down my face. Tears of relief. Tears of joy. Tears of accomplishment. For today was such a wonderful day. This recluse, this shy and lonely recluse; had made a major step towards regaining freedom.
Now I will go and see all those beautiful places that beckon me. Places that are near, yet have seemed so far away. I want to explore. I want to smile with warm delight, as our little dog 'Penny' runs free through the hills and the dales of this 'green and pleasant land'. The world outside is there for me. This man who has battled his 'inner critic'; takes comfort in knowing that today was a day of personal triumph.
I sat in my car and dreamed about all the future adventures. Suddenly, I became startled by low whispering voices. Upon my steering wheel, were the 'beautiful fairy princess' and the 'garden gnome'. 'Where's 'Noddy's' car? At first, we thought this might be Noddy's car', stated the beautiful fairy princess, in a voice so adorable and soothing. 'I'm very sorry. I really have no idea where Noddy's car might be. Besides, this car is not red and yellow.' I replied. 'However, when my driving confidence gets better; perhaps you 'wee folks' would do me the great honour of going on a journey to magical locations? We can take the dog and my son has told me he would like to go bowling.' I added.
They whispered softly to each other. Then the beautiful fairy princess spoke. 'When the weather doth turn to spring and our hearts begin to sing; we, good sir, would be pleased for such a gathering.' Outside my car, I heard the toot of a horn. I looked up at the steering wheel and noticed the wee folks were gone. In the distance, down the road, I noted a red and yellow car. Today was a magical day.

How you can help...

noreply@blogger.com (sunseeker) — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 14:53:00 +0000

Please talk about my loved one, even though he is gone. It is more comforting to cry that to pretend that he never existed. I need to know that he is remembered. I need to talk about him, and I need to do it over and over. Be patient with my agitation. Nothing feels secure in my world. Get comfortable with my crying. Sadness hits me in waves and I never know when my tears may flow. Just sit with me in silence and hold my hand.

Don't abandon me with the excuse that you don't want to upset me. You can't catch or cause my grief. Don't say you don't want to phone in case it's a bad time. If I really don't want to, I won't answer the phone. My world is painful, and when you are too afraid to call me or visit or say anything, it isolates me at a time when I most need to be cared about. Don't assume that someone else is looking after me - chances are that they are not. If you don't know what to say, just give me a hug or say "I'm sorry." You can even say, " I just don't know what to say, but I care and I want you to know that."

Just because I look good does not mean that I feel good. Ask me how I feel only if you have the time to, and really want to, find out. I am not strong, I'm just numb. When you tell me how strong I am it it feels as though you just don't see me. If I look like I'm doing well, you aren't looking closely enough. Every day my life is filled with doubts and questions. Did I do everything right? Is it what he wanted? Did I miss something? Did he know how much he meant to me. Did I say everything I needed to, and everything he needed to hear? What on earth was he thinking of in those final days? Why couldn't I save him? I can't share these concerns with you because they are questions that no one will ever be able to answer. And if you try to, anything you say will seem insensitive and trite. I will come to my own conclusions eventually, but until then, this is what I live with 24 hours a day.

I will not recover, this is not a cold or the flu. I'm not sick, or depressed. I'm grieving and that's different. My grief may only fully begin 6 months after my loved ones death. So don't think I will be over it in a year, or ever. For I am not only grieving the loss of my loved one, but also the person I was when we were together, the life we shared, the plans we had, the places we will never get to go together, the grandchildren he will never meet and the hopes and dreams that will never come true. My whole world has crumbled and I will never be the same. I will not always be grieving as intensely, but I will never forget and rather than recover, I want to incorporate his life and love into the rest of my life. He is a part of me and always will be, and sometimes I will remember him with Joy and other times with a tear. Both are okay.

I don't have to accept the death. Yes, I have to understand that it has happened and it is real, but there are some things in life that are just not acceptable. Please don't project your expectations onto me with your questions. "Did you have a good time" or "Did you enjoy yourself" are not good questions. They have only two options - yes or no. And I feel as though you expect me to say yes. And let's face it, that's what you want to hear. It's a much easier answer for you than "no. I spent the entire time trying not to cry and wondering if I will ever feel a moment of happiness again." If you really want to know, try an open question. "How did it go?" or "How was it?". And when I answer, don't say that I shouldn't feel that way. When you tell me what I should be doing, then I feel even more lost and alone. I feel badly enough that my loved one is dead, so please don't make it worse by making me feel that I'm not doing this right.

I don't understand when you say "you've got to get on with your life". My life is going on, I've been forced into a new role in life and it may not look the way you think it should. This will take time and I will never be my old self again. So please, just love me as I am today, and know that with your love and support, the joy may very slowly start to return to my life. The pain will never leave, it will just become easier to live with. But I will never forget, and there will always be times that I cry.

Please don't suggest that I will find someone else. I may never be ready. And maybe I don't want to. And besides, what makes people think our loved ones are replaceable? They aren't.

I need to know that you care about me. I need to feel your touch, your hugs - even though I will probably cry. So please don't feel uncomfortable if I do. I am broken and you cannot fix me. I need you to just be with me, and I need to be with you. I need to know that you believe in me and trust me to get through my grief in my own way, and in my own time. Please don't say, "Call me if you need anything." I'll never call you, not because I don't want to, but because I have no idea what I need. And trying to figure out what you could do for me takes more energy than I have.

Please don't judge me now, especially if I am behaving strangely. Remember I am grieving. I may still be in shock. I am afraid. I feel guilty. I may feel deep rage. But above all, I hurt. I'm experiencing a pain unlike any I have ever felt before and one that cannot be imagined by anyone who has not walked in my shoes.

Don't be surprised if you think I'm getting better and then suddenly I seem to slip backward. Grief is like that at times. And please don't tell me you know how I feel or that it's time for me to move forward. What I need now is time to grieve. I may have many things to live for, but I can't feel any of them right now. The fact that I am trying to keep going is enough for me, please let it be enough for you too.

Thank you for your patience. Thank you for your caring. Thank you for helping, for understanding. Thank you for praying for me. Most of all, thank you for being my friend.

And remember, in the years ahead, after your loss - when you need me as I have needed you - I will understand. And then I will come and be with you.

'Get A Grip'.

whitecap79@hotmail.co.uk (klahanie) — Thu, 21 Jan 2010 22:32:00 +0000

A number of folks have told me, 'Gary, 'get a grip', man!' So what sort of grip should I be getting? Then I realised that they actually meant, to relax and be more rational, indeed to come to one's senses. So when someone says, 'get a grip of yourself'..well I wouldn't even dare tell you what I thought that might mean.
So just what am I doing that might mean I need to 'get a grip'? Maybe it's the fact that every once in a while I am tempted to do what you would call a 'run-on' sentence, a sentence that really did not need to be as long as it was because the sentence had said what it needed to say and it really would have been much better if the sentence had been ended, but no, I have the overwhelming urge to just keep writing merrily away without even thinking that it would be a good idea to end the flippin' thing 'and' with that and, I am now going to suddenly, abruptly end this sentence. (Re-reads preceding sentence and takes breath). Yeah, I know, 'get a grip'.
Maybe I need to 'get a grip', because I write about a 'beautiful fairy princess', 'a garden gnome', their various friends, stuffed toys and question why a brush is called 'daft'. Heck, I've even interviewed our Jack Russell dog named 'Penny'. So perhaps I do need to 'get a grip'.
I've been thinking about doing something here, right now, that may just prove that to 'get a grip', is very much, a good idea. 'Boy George' and 'Culture Club' were the inspiration for the following. Indeed, perhaps, however, whatever, whenever, definitely, maybe. Or as George might sing at this moment, 'comma, comma, comma, comma, comma....comedian'. 'Commacal'... hmmm. Okay, I tried. Yes, I know, yet again, 'get a grip'.
It has also be noted that I have been known to do a rather disjointed blog. So in the spirit of totally random, bordering on ridiculous musings; here goes. This guy phoned me up the other day from his mobile (cell) phone. The phone reception was poor at both ends. It sounded something like this, 'Gary, I'm stuck (crackle, fade) could be quite some time before I arrive'. 'What was that?', I asked. 'I'm stuck in traffic', he stated. 'Gridlock?', I inquired. 'Thanks, I'm gonna' need it', he said. One last musing to end this paragraph. When someone says, 'no pun intended', do they actually mean there was a pun intended? A friend of mine told me that they work at an office of the 'Tree Surgeons Union'. I asked, 'which branch?' No pun intended....
Well I like the idea of 'get a grip'. As a matter of fact, I'm heading off to Miami. Hopefully, when I get there, I can get a 'Miami vice grip'.

A 'Wee Folks' Winter's Day.

whitecap79@hotmail.co.uk (klahanie) — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 00:18:00 +0000

Over the last few weeks, the winter had cast upon us the wonders and the beauty that beckoning flakes of snow can truly provide. Our landscape has been adorned with a dazzling, glistening array of breathtaking splendour. The sights, the sounds, the sheer magic of these 'picture postcard' times, has been firmly ingrained into my mind. Pleasant times, pleasant memories.
The childlike joy of the beautiful fairy princess and the garden gnome has filled my heart with thoughts of a better way, a better time for all of us who embrace the magnificence that nature offers. I watched them play, I heard them laugh. 'The wee folks', at peace with the world, at peace with themselves.

So there they were. The wee folks. Such kind and caring gentle creatures. Soon they lay down in the snow. The 'snow fairy' made a 'snow angel'. The beautiful fairy princess, the garden gnome and their friends, played until the dark shadows of impending night, signalled the end of another perfect day.
The snow has been melting. The hearts of the beautiful fairy princess and the garden gnome have been melting in the warm love they have for each other.

Off The Buses.

whitecap79@hotmail.co.uk (klahanie) — Sat, 09 Jan 2010 00:44:00 +0000

Nobody needs to 'coach' me when it comes to buses. Yes indeed, I've had my fair share of experiences on this mode of transport.
Maybe you can relate to this. You get on the bus. That would be the second bus, after the first bus driver looked straight at you and continued on. You stood there, as that first bus drove by you, with your arms waving frantically, praying for a miracle and hoping that the driver will have a change of heart and stop. But alas no, instead, you get drenched by the worst downpour known in twenty years.
When you get on the bus that kindly stopped for you, the driver decides it would be hilarious to accelerate and brake really quickly. That way, you lose your balance, you wipe out, fall into the lap of an old lady and proceed to dump your two bags of groceries, which were full of eggs, a variety of sticky syrups and fresh sardines, all over her fake fox fur coat.
Lets not forget the times you have been on an almost empty bus. The guy who has had a bit too much to drink, who has plenty of seating options, sits down right beside, or should I say, on top of you. And what does he talk about? This guy with bad breath and body odour? Well, of course, he goes on about the kids these days, the state of the nation, politics, religion and finishes by letting you know the true meaning of life. You smile and hopefully nod your head at the right times. As you try desperately to get off the bus, ten miles before your destination, he gives you a big hug and promises to be your best friend forever.
It has been nearly two years since I drove a car. I remember so clearly that night an ambulance driver decided to customise the rear end of my 'mid-life crisis' 'divorce mobile' (complete with the furry dice). I knew that I needed more exercise, however, I considered this a rather bizarre way of the 'National Health Service', to inform me to get into better shape.
So with all my, shall I say, adventures, on the bus, I have visualised the following situation. I am waiting patiently at the bus stop. I'm getting soaked, yet again. The bus drives by me, yet again. I look across the road at the 'exotic' cars dealership. I go over and ask to test drive one of the 'gas guzzlin' beasts. (At this point, I think I'm having a 'Top Gear' moment). We get into the car and go for a test drive. Destination, my house. I thank the guy for the test drive, tell him I'll have to think about it and proceed towards my front door.
Okay, I'm not recommending that one should really do that. But hmmm.... So soon I will be off the buses. Must remember which side of the road to drive on over here in Britain. Ah yes, I can see it now. Police officer pulls me over and states: 'Sir, you are driving on the right side of the road'. To which, I reply: 'Well, that's okay then, thanks for that.'

TONY AMORE ON THE BBC...COMIC RELIEF SPECIAL THANX TO BBC BRISTOL AND CYBERNET CAFE STARS PLACE

noreply@blogger.com (raphael da caravaggio) — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 15:53:00 +0000

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ahrOAbPE28

Still here!!!!

noreply@blogger.com (Radioman) — Thu, 28 May 2009 11:27:00 +0000

Hello..... still here - still about - and might just get the Podcast gear out and cover Sanity Fair this year - actually - hey hell - I'll definately cover it!!!

Leigh....

Welcome to the world Millie Faith!

noreply@blogger.com (sunseeker) — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 10:14:00 +0000

Just announcing the safe arrival of my great niece Millie Faith, daughter for proud Mum and Dad Laura and Gavin, and brother to a somewhat bemused 17 month old Ethan...

However, this latest addition brings the grand total of my great nieces and nephews to five - and it makes me feel very old! And Christmas is getting to be a very expensive affair these days... But I have to admit, a bunch of toddlers running around does alot to lift your spirits!

Welcome to the chaos that is my wonderful family little Millie - I may not be able to promise you riches untold, I'm absolutely sure that you will not go short on love...

breathless

noreply@blogger.com (tone the blueshawk) — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 22:19:00 +0000

Air moves in a mysterious way

its wonders to perform

invisible, divisible, irresistible

insensate blast, engine of all.

Born in the borderland between sea and sky,

falls on land, and brick by brick by brick

reduces ash to ashes, dust to dusts.

Parent to the form of trees.

Shaking, shaping limbs in rage,

bending the child to your whim.

high on heaths in violence abounding

maddening the maddened, making madder, mad kings,

fooling fools and blinding the blind;

whilst lowly heathers and bilberries lie low

sifting and dividing to nothing your every notion.

We hold your madness near, erect barriers -

stone, wood, glass, metal;

catch cubed power, the better to live

in the footsteps of salt men

who, driven before you on lines between life and death,

end: reduced to leather and bones.

Strangely attracted to chaotic turbulence

you (eddy to your friends) whistle up your fluid familiar,

ring-leader in wanton ruin,

gang-leader on the coastal chain,

breaking rock

stones

pebbles

gravel

sand

silt

mud

slime

Everything.

It's definitely autumn.....

noreply@blogger.com (tone the blueshawk) — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 22:14:00 +0000

Dodging the showers this afternoon I got my tripod and took some long exposures (up to two seconds) of moving leaves in the squally winds.
For a short while I became lost in what I was doing and forgot my aching feet and knees.
The colours are particularly startling this autumn - I think that is something to do with the recent warm spell which allows trees to convert and reabsorb a lot of the green pigment (leaving behind the reds and yellows) in their leaves before they fall off. Whatever the biochemistry - the results are an extraordinary range of warm hues that lift my spirits.

Radioman makes a final broadcast.....

noreply@blogger.com (Radioman) — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 22:18:00 +0000

Hi everyone.

I've done with blogging.

Blogging, and deciding to leave blogging, reached a 'now or never' point with me.

Either I'd leave or stay.

Tonight I decided it was time to let go of my blog.

I've come a long way with it - used it to empty my head at times, sit and think about life, let off steam and sometimes to babble on endlessly.

Life is taking new turns all of the time.

I'm happy in my job.

I'm happy in myself.

My studies haven't quite gone to plan this year but I have a rescue plan in place.

I'm busier than ever with my party DJing.

I've also been given an opportunity to do some 'real' radio work again which could lead to, well, who knows where?

Life isn't a rehearsal - we get one chance and I'm playing it out the best I can until I reach the final encore.

So, to all you bloggers who've read and commented, I thank you.

To mindbloggling who added me to their library at MAGMH, I thank you.

To Dawn, my wife and soulmate, I thank you over and over for the support, love, guidance and help that you have given me over the past few years and the rest, hell, that's personal!

I'm now going forth into new chapters of life.

Things that have been with me in the past will probably still accompany me but I hope to put them into boxes and tie the string on top whenever I can.

If anyone does want to keep in touch, email me - leigh@leighs.org - as I probably won't revisit this blog and I've switched comments off.

For now, this is radioman, closing down.

Over and out.

Leigh.....

I'm back........

noreply@blogger.com (tone the blueshawk) — Sun, 12 Oct 2008 19:39:00 +0000

.....I haven't been able to get into my blog for yonks - since the spring, at least. I tried all sorts of likely combinations of passwords and user-names. Nothing worked. Appeals to Blogger Support (hah!) lead nowhere useful. And before you suggest otherwise, I am certain that I tried the combination that has just miraculouslyworked ("Many times; many, many times; many, many, many times" as Dame Celia Molestrangler would have said).
Anyway...... I was talking to the magnificently craggy Klahanie on Friday, at a World Mental Health day event, and he quite justifiably castigated me for my failure to put in an appearance here in many a long month. Being the generous soul that he undoubtedly is, he accepted my explanation vis-a-vis Blogger obstructing my every effort to get at my blog, but his interest put lead in my pencil, improved the cut of my jib and made me pull up my socks - and persistance has triumphed - here I am again, large as life and twice as wobbly.

Calanais

noreply@blogger.com (tone the blueshawk) — Sat, 11 Oct 2008 20:03:00 +0000

From some fathomless place in a yawning sky
the lark falls soft, loft on salty breath
(its song-of-place a sharp decline)
to be an unkempt bundle,
post-bound & mundane.

Purpose runs deep
in the bird
in the land
in the standing stones,
old as any named for their place.

here on an edge,
the stones’ cipher, cracked by birdsong,
unbroken remains.

with us no more

noreply@blogger.com (moira) — Sat, 11 Oct 2008 13:43:00 +0000

the host of this blog died on an acute psychiatric ward on 21 01 2008 she is missed greatly by her husband children family friends and the wider community
she lives in our hearts and walks in peace

Sleep tight Mr Sheep xx

noreply@blogger.com (sunseeker) — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 10:26:00 +0000

I have a space inside my heart
that marks the day we had to part
The day I lost my dearest friend
My loyal companion to the end

I am a mother, I am a wife,
yet something is missing from my life -
I have a job to fill my days
an ideal life in many ways...

Yet in the garden, or by my chair
I look for you - though you're not there.
There is a void I cannot fill
I think of you often, and miss you still...

Chapter 41

noreply@blogger.com (Jack) — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 12:54:00 +0000

Hello there, hope you are well. I am ok. Hope you like the image. I am a sponsor of

the RSPCA. I also am involved with cancer research and dogs trust. These charities are very close to my heart. My mother died of cancer. She was only 54. I just try to put a bit back. I hope and know that research will give others a chance. I have always liked animals. I believe in there welfare. They deserve a voice and protection. I hope others feel the same. I know they do. Till next time, take care.

Chapter 40

noreply@blogger.com (Jack) — Tue, 20 May 2008 12:45:00 +0000

Hello there, hope you are well. I am ok. I have just been to a cafe with a couple of friends. I just had a can of pop. Before that I went to the museum and had some oatcakes.

I went to the gym yesterday. I went on the treadmill, I have not done that for a while. It went well. I went to see my cousin last night. His wife did me a nice dinner. On Sunday I went to see my aunt and uncle. I had pastis a donut and tea. I then went to see another aunt and had fruit cake and tea. After this I visited my sister and family. I really enjoyed it. She gave me a can of cider which went down well. I am going to have a look around town in a bit. Then tonight I am meeting up with friends. I am looking forward to the football on telly tomorrow. I maybe going on a day out on the train soon, depending on the weather. Anyway I am going to try and stay positive. Till next time, take care.

Chapter 39

noreply@blogger.com (Jack) — Tue, 06 May 2008 12:59:00 +0000

Hello there, hope you are well. I am doing ok. I have been for a meal today and a pint. I enjoyed it. I am meeting up with some friends later. I am getting out when I can. I am still enjoying the gym. I get a bit lonely sometimes though. I have learned to cope with this. I read, listen to music, watch tv or do some chores. I stay positive, if things do worry me or get me down I rationalize. I look for solutions and I keep a smile on my face. Exercise always helps. After 10-20 minutes in the gym I feel fine. I have got my beliefs too that keep me strong. I am trying to work on my confidence levels too. Im getting there. I am making an effort to eat more fruit and veg too. Hopefully Im on the way up. Im going to live life the best I can and make the most of every day. I have been trough a lot in my life, it has made me strong and if I can help others I will. Believe in yourself. Till next time take care.

Chapter 38

noreply@blogger.com (Jack) — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 13:24:00 +0000

Hello hope you are well. Im feeling really well. I have done a few comments today. I am hopeful of the future. I had a good day yesterday. I am trying to fill my days with as much as I can. Im getting back into doing a bit of cooking. I had a lovely pizza last week. Im training as much as I can . I am getting out as much as possible. Hope the weather can be nice. I might get the train somewhere if it is nice. I am making friends as I go along. Still keeping in touch with family. Till next time, take care.

The ever expanding family...

noreply@blogger.com (sunseeker) — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 12:09:00 +0000

Just thought that I would share the news that I am going to be a great aunt again! Some people are just gluttons for punishment ;0) I'm not sure what a 17 month old Ethan will make of a new brother or sister but I'm sure it will be an interesting time!

Anyway, big congrats to my niece and her husband!

Far 2 Long!

noreply@blogger.com (purkul) — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 08:10:00 +0000

Hya folks,

I'll make my apologies now!!! sorry it's been so long, I haven't forgotten about you - at all- just had real prob getting on the net for a bit! & This will have to be a short post 2 cuz gotta dash!

Just wanted to say hya and say how chuffed I am to see so many of ya bloggling away!

Hope everyone's well!

nat
x

Chapter 37

noreply@blogger.com (Jack) — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 13:23:00 +0000

Just a quick blog. I am in the library now. Im ok. I have had a rest this morning. I am going to have a pint in a bit. My friend is visiting tonight. I am having fish and chips again. I am still feeling positve. Take care. Till next time.

Time for a Change

noreply@blogger.com (Mind Bloggling Team) — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 12:49:00 +0000

Greetings folks,
Welcome to this edition of your Mind Bloggling Team news. I hope you are all well and trying to maintain positive aspects to your life. We realise that our community of bloggers serves a potentially vital purpose in your life. The positive interaction and acknowledgements of each other's blogs helps to empower us.
I have done my best to uphold the empathetic ethos. My enthusiasm for the Mind Bloggling project remains strong and determined. However, it is time for a change. I now pass on the Mind Bloggling Team News updates to someone else.
Please stay positive and keep smiling. Please remember, you have a choice. We can live our lives with positive anticipation rather than negative speculation.
Warm wishes. The Mind Bloggling Team.

Get well soon lovely Ethan...

noreply@blogger.com (sunseeker) — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 10:42:00 +0000

I've just returned from a visit to the north shore - and I'd forgotten how fantastic it was to be there. It was also a pleasant suprise to find that they were hosting the 2008 Jazz and Blues festival while we were there - it was a fantastic atmosphere. But, at least I had something to look forward to on my return - my great nephew's christeneing!

He is such a little star - and even though he wasn't very impressed when the water went over his head, he was so good throughout the whole thing (which is no mean feat for a 10 month old) but he is such a pleasant little chap... He had a lovely time being the centre of attention for the day, but unfortunately it didn't end on the high note it started on. By early evening, he was very unwell, and after a very unpleasant night for him, he ended up in hospital.

The poor little man spent two days on a drip and has had to have all sorts of tests - it's been a worrying time for the family. But, he is well on the mend and was able to come home yesterday, just in time for his Mum's birthday - that has to have been the best present she's ever had!

So, all is now somewhat calmer again (well, as calm as it ever gets) and this weekend we can all relax and get over the trauma! Hopefully, I'll get chance to sort my photos and I might even make a new slide show...

Martin Luther King died 40 years ago on the 4th April 2008

noreply@blogger.com (tone the blueshawk) — Sat, 29 Mar 2008 21:30:00 +0000

We owe a huge debt to this man - find out more here

Your Thoughts

noreply@blogger.com (Mind Bloggling Team) — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 11:53:00 +0000

Greetings fellow bloggers, future bloggers and visitors to our site. So how has the experience of blogging been for you? Have you found it therapeutic? Has it been a positive resource in your own mental health wellbeing? Does the positive interaction within the Mind Bloggling community make you realise we are all in this together?

Let the empathetic ethos of Mind Bloggling continue to grow in strength. Do you have any suggestions to enhance our community? So what are your thoughts?

Warm regards the Mind Bloggling Team.

Mind Bloggling Team. A Positive Environment.

noreply@blogger.com (Mind Bloggling Team) — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 22:42:00 +0000

Greetings everybody from your Mind Bloggling Team. On behalf of the team I would like to say how encouraged we are by the ongoing and strengthening positive environment we have witnessed in our innovative community.

We are heartened as we watch the positive momentum of the Mind Bloggling project continue to grow in awareness. The world has seen us challenge the stigma. No matter what section of the 'road to recovery' you may be on; you can help alleviate the popular misconceptions of mental health issues. Let us celebrate our varied talents. You have a valid 'voice' and we look forward to your brave, transparent, thought-provoking contributions. Your feedback is most welcome. We thank you for your time. Best wishes, the Mind Bloggling Team.

Mind Bloggling Team News

noreply@blogger.com (Mind Bloggling Team) — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 13:53:00 +0000

Greetings fellow bloggers, future bloggers and visitors to the Mind Bloggling site. As you can see from our previous article; Mind Bloggling has been recognised as an innovative, inspirational project.

We welcome past and potential future bloggers to paticipate in our blogging sessions. The sessions are at the MAGMH office on Tuesdays from 1:00 P.M. until 3:00 P.M. So here is your chance to be involved in the Mind Bloggling community. You will be made most welcome in a warm, safe environment. Oh yeah, before I forget..we supply great biscuits! :-)

Best wishes. The Mind Bloggling Team.

Mind Bloggling Accomplishments

noreply@blogger.com (Mind Bloggling Team) — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 19:48:00 +0000

Hello fellow bloggers, future bloggers and visitors to the Mind Bloggling site.

In the last edition of the Mind Bloggling Team news I mentioned that some of Mind Bloggling's recent accomplishments would be highlighted. As we strive to increase further awareness of mental health issues, it should be noted that the following achievements will have helped alter popular misconceptions about mental illness.

We knew that our empathetic site would be source of therapeutic comfort for people in various stages of mental health wellbeing. We knew that our innovative site could use positive endorsements and publicity from people who understood, or were trying to understand. It was a collective union from decent folks who wanted to do whatever they could to help increase our 'voice'.

One of our 'pioneer' bloggers 'etcb' had the courage and commitment to go on local radio in order to increase the Public's knowledge of our site. Etcb, passionate in our cause, has been an integral part in challenging the unfair stigma that still tries to stereotype us.

We were featured in an article on the 'ICT Hub' website. There was glowing praise of our Mind Bloggling community. Our fellow blogger 'Simon', who is a good friend of mine, was used as an example of our thought-provoking project. So well done to you Simon.

We were promoted by a London journalist named Claire White who goes under the blog name 'White Llama'. To quote Claire White : "Mind Bloggling has also made a good start with a directory of blogs encouraging people to write about mental health issues as well as everyday life. The bloggers in the group are exploring the medium, supporting each other and using blogging to engage in dialogue with each other." So this proves we are getting noticed. Claire also very kindly commented on one of my blogs alluding to what a "great project!" Mind Bloggling is.

Dr. Moira Walker of Bournemouth University had this to say about Mind Bloggling: "Blogging is a relatively recent online innovation and 'Mind Bloggling' is a a positive example of this type of initiative. This is a new project, an online community of blogs, giving a voice to people with mental health issues"...

One other highlight of the past year I would like to mention is that we were given air time on a major British radio station. We were featured on B.B.C. radio 5 Live's 'Up All Night' show during the 'Pods and Blogs' section of the programme. So with the wonderful collaboration of 'blueshawk' (the genius behind the Mind Bloggling project), 'radio man' (our man who did a podcast for Sanity Fair 2007) and 'klahanie' we were publicised around the world.

So how about that! These are just some of the accomplishments that have made our community such a powerful, positive force in our ongoing mission to reduce the stigma surrounding mental health concerns. Everytime one of our community members contributes to our site that is a personal triumph. That is very much an accomplishment.

Until next time. Peace and contentment to you all. The Mind Bloggling Team.

http://computerwizardry.wordpress.com/2007/06/ This is the ICT Hub article about Mind Bloggling. Please refer to the article: "My RSS is working!"

http://whitellama.blogspot.com/ Claire White's article on Mind Bloggling is dated August 7.

Dr. Moira Walker's article can be 'googled' it is an 'Adobe Reader' set-up. The article is on page 27 of 82 from the topic 'Mental Health Treatment Online'.

Guess who's Back? (please don't switch off you're computer!)

noreply@blogger.com (Simon) — Thu, 07 Feb 2008 20:09:00 +0000

Hello. Loads of stuff has happened since i last blogged which i won't bore you with, but i seem to have broken the habit of getting up at mid-afternoon. I've started to get my lazy ass out of bed at 10am consistently which is a f##king miracle in itself, and now i'm doing voluntary work with 'changes' nearly every day, apart from fridays when i co-ordinate a meeting. I do a few talks now and again going into the more crazy side of my life in order to help people appreciate how someone can turn their life around from being majorly unwell and f##ked-up to being reasonably sorted out (!?).
So things are going reasonably ok, apart from a romance that never got off the ground! We are good mates but i don't think anything will come of it in that respect- no suprise there!
Anywell, take it easy fellow bloggers, and i will try to post a bit more often (did i hear groans in the ether?)
Simon

Apologies for not blogging recently

noreply@blogger.com (emma) — Fri, 25 Jan 2008 23:22:00 +0000

Sorry I haven't been blogging recently. I have however looked in on you all often.

Hope all is well with you.

See you soon.

Emma.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!......TO YOU ALL.

noreply@blogger.com (Domenica) — Mon, 07 Jan 2008 16:02:00 +0000

To all my fellow bloggers, I would like to take this opportunity to wish each and every one of you a most splendid New Year in every possible way. May all your dearest wishes and desires become realities and fill your lives with happiness!

Merry Christmas - Happy Holidays - Happy New Year

noreply@blogger.com (emma) — Fri, 21 Dec 2007 10:14:00 +0000

To all the Mind Blogglers!

Hope you all have a peaceful Christmas and here's to 2008!

See you soon,

Emma.

noreply@blogger.com (bilingual) — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 14:47:00 +0000

Christmas is coming
and me wif----------knows where shes at,

(((Joke)))
A lot as happened
Since I wrote here,
So i hope my story
Can be made clear,
well our life's are changing
for we have a son,
It's a new begining for him
His life as begun,
Where we will have joy
And happiness true,
For now our love
As a baby too,
where we can now
See what we've achieved,
Something what
We never believed,
But through love
And all of our joy,
we have proof
with our boy.

noreply@blogger.com (bilingual) — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 14:15:00 +0000

some nice pictures,to say all babys are beautiful.

my baby is nearly 3 mnths now.

thanx to the media i am able get personal pictures of him

Garfield is back!

noreply@blogger.com (Garfield) — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 13:51:00 +0000

Hellllllllooooooooooooo!!!!!!!! long long time 4 me!(I'm sorry)

YES! I had a baby on September! His name is (little) Richard and he is growing growing so quickly now he is 3 months old!!!! He is doing very well and he had a 1st injection last month. Time has been so quickly since his arrival and I'm keeping busy every day.... He wakes up just once at night so I can have a plenty sleep whole night now! gd gd :) Also he starts talking and smiling as well! He is learning a lots of things every single day (and me!)

Anyway Are u ready 4 xmas yet? We r ready so far so good.... Its 1st xmas 4 Richard and he has got loads xmas presents and he saw Santa on the other day! He had a tiny Rudolph toy off Santa!

He is such a happy boy and yes he is excited for his 1st xmas! will b gr8 and sentimental 4 him.

Also New year is coming soon! ( how quick) Anyway hope everything will b fine next year!

I promise I will continue this bloggling as much as I've got the time so hope u will have a lovely xmas and New year!

All the best and stay positive!!!!

c ya!

SOMEBODY SPECIAL..........

noreply@blogger.com (Domenica) — Sat, 08 Dec 2007 12:45:00 +0000

"I am somebody. I am me. I like being me. And I need nobody to make me somebody" - Louis L'Amour

Often we spend so much time taking care of all the special people in our lives, we forget that we are somebody special too. I am special and you are special and each and every one of us is just as significant and necessary to the world as the next. It is not until we begin to realise this very important truth, however, that we allow ourselves to recognise what very special somebodies we are.

May we always be aware of our specialness.......

Crickey, time don't half fly!

noreply@blogger.com (purkul) — Sun, 02 Dec 2007 21:05:00 +0000

Hya all,

long time no post! I haven't posted in so long I've almost forgotten how to do it!! o the irony! i really don't know where the time has gone! just been such a busy bee!

It's just been one thing after another b honest! jury service, weddings, new job and the same old same old stuff that takes up so much time!

I hope you are all doing well, missin ya! I'm gonna take a look over the posts now c how your all doin!

take care

nat
x

My Busy Life.

noreply@blogger.com (ajrj) — Tue, 27 Nov 2007 14:36:00 +0000

Hi I've been pretty busy lately because I've been doing a few courses with Richmond Fellowship in Hanley. I've been doing the ' Working For Health ' course, the ' Steps ' course and also the 'Pathways To Employment' course. All the courses have given me more confidence and motivation and made me feel more positive. I have also started doing some courses with the council which I have also enjoyed and am hoping to do more.

Welcome to the world!

noreply@blogger.com (emma) — Sun, 25 Nov 2007 12:04:00 +0000

On 22nd November 2007 at 5.20am - a new baby boy arrived into our family!

My beautiful sister had a beautiful baby. Welcome (yet to be named)! And congratulations to your Mum and Dad.

Dietary advice

noreply@blogger.com (emma) — Fri, 09 Nov 2007 09:02:00 +0000

Had to go to the Quakers meeting house in Newcastle for a meeting the other day and whilst I was hanging around the reception I read the following and thought - I like that, so wanted to share it:

Native Wisdom

A native American sat with his grandson on his knee.
He said "Son, inside you there are two wolves locked in battle. One is the wolf of peace, love and kindness and the other is the wolf of fear, greed and hatred."
"But Grandad, which one wins?" asked the little boy.
"The one that you feed!"replied the old man.

Hope you're all doing well!

Images of summer!

noreply@blogger.com (emma) — Tue, 30 Oct 2007 22:08:00 +0000

This is a photograph of a fox sunbathing in our garden! He came back 3 or 4 days in a row. I've seen him sunbathing on the roof of a nearby shed too.

No Smoking

noreply@blogger.com (Clare Hill) — Tue, 30 Oct 2007 17:59:00 +0000

It has now been two years since I gave up smoking. I started when I was about thirteen, when my friend Caroline threatened to beat me up if I didn’t smoke with her. Lovely girl. Knowing that this was no idle threat, I capitulated. I lived in London at the time, so we’d save up our tube fare - 30p it was - to buy a box of fags between us. We’d have one before and after school, then eat toothpaste and spray ourselves with Impulse to mask the smell. Mind you, I needn’t have bothered as I lived in a pub so all my clothes stank of smoke anyway.
I was 15, I think, when I took up the habit proper, undeterred by the fact that my Granddad was dying of emphysema, had to have oxygen 23 hours a day, and nearly blew himself up on several occasions due to smoking with the oxygen tube slung around his neck.
By 16 I was on twenty a day, and at the height of my smoking days I was on thirty. I tried to give up when I was pregnant, first trying cold turkey and then smoking awful herbal fags, which were probably as harmful as the real ones, and they stunk of horse shit. Matters weren’t helped by the fact that the father of my baby wouldn’t give up, as he put it, ‘because I’m not the one who’s pregnant.’ Charming. He’s on about forty a day now, lives in Newcastle, and has seen our son once in two years.
After numerous attempts at quitting, I managed it with the help of nicotine gum. An unfortunate statistic shows that more than 90% of bipolar, schizophrenia and psychosis sufferers are heavy smokers. It turns out that nicotine actually helps to alleviate psychotic symptoms, as it improves synaptic reflexes. I tried to use this as justification for smoking, but eventually even I realised that I was doing myself more harm than good.
Two years on, I’m addicted to nicotine gum. My doctors assure me that this won’t do me any damage, and, as it helps me concentrate, I’m not too worried about it. At least I always have minty fresh breath, and I can chew in public places.

72 TIMES......AND STILL COUNTING!

noreply@blogger.com (Domenica) — Mon, 29 Oct 2007 16:29:00 +0000

If I had to select one quality, one personal characteristic that I regard as being most correlated with success, whatever the field, I would pick the trait of persistence. The will to endure to the end, to get knocked down seventy one times and get up saying "Here comes seventy-two"

It may take 71 times or 72 or 112, but the wonderful thing about life is that as long as we keep getting up, dusting ourselves off and starting all over again; as long as we persist in persisting and make up our minds that nothing will stop us.....as long as we do that....nothing will! We win by relentlessly molding ourselves through all those ups and downs into the winners we were born to be.
May we always be willing to get up and start again.

'My life is in good hands......my own!'

Hair today, gone tomorrow

noreply@blogger.com (Clare Hill) — Sat, 27 Oct 2007 19:15:00 +0000

I had a traumatic experience this week, and only now do I feel able to talk about it. I went to the hairdresser. This is usually a lovely event; someone washes my hair for me and I look all shiny and new when I leave, and I feel all feminine, at least for a day or two. But my hairdresser, trusted confidante, she of the magic scissors, has left the salon and I have gone onto someone else's list.

It's not the same, the chemistry isn't there, when she asks me questions I just want to dive underneath my chair, although we were getting on okay-ish. Until:

The Fringe Incident.

I wanted it thinned out, just a little, she carved it up and sent me out looking like a two-year-old had been at my hair with blunt cutlery. It was all different lengths, jagged and choppy, nothing like my usual blunt cut. I wasn't happy.

But what could I do? Here's the dilemma; you can't tell a hairdresser that you're unhappy with her handiwork. So I just nodded, 'fine,' I said, while inside I cried. It's no over-reaction, men, please don't laugh, there's nothing good about paying twenty-three quid to look worse than when you came in.

Once home, I tried mousses and waxes and cursing and sobbing, but nothing made it look better. I had a play to review, and couldn't sit in the theatre wearing a hat, I'd look daft.

With some trepidation I marched back to the salon to ask if someone could straighten up my fringe. That was when my hairdresser, inflicter of my misery, stepped up to do her thing.
I was mortified, but tried to hide behind a barrage of small talk. My fringe got shorter, and shorter, and eventually I called a halt to her furious cutting technique.

It looked like my Nan's speciality pudding basin cut, showing far too much brow, but I put on a brave face, and when I got home, guess what I found?

It still wasn't bloody well straight!

Clare

Those were the days...

noreply@blogger.com (Clare Hill) — Wed, 24 Oct 2007 19:31:00 +0000

When Bon Jovi were good. I bought the first album Bon Jovi ever released yesterday, and listening to it brought back the time when I was given my first Walkman, aged 9. I was being taken to see Bon Jovi at Milton Keynes Bowl for my birthday, and it was the first album I'd ever owned. Surprisingly, I can still remember a lot of the words, even though it's nearly 20 years since I last heard any of the songs.
The concert was my first, too, and we were right at the front. Vixen and Skid Row were terrible, and I only knew one song by Europe, 'The Final Countdown.' Then, it happened, Bon Jovi took the stage. And I passed out. It wasn't that Jon Bon Jovi made me swoon, okay, it wasn't only that, it was really hot, majorly crowded, and everyone surged forward when the main band came on. I missed the first song, and we couldn't get close to the front after I came round. They were fantastic, this was before they became all soppy, back when they wore leather trousers and had long curly hair.
It's my son's birthday soon, and I'm taking him to his very first concert. I gave him a choice - he wants to see Alice Cooper, which is good because I want to see him, too. I'm glad he didn't want to see 50 Pence or Kayne East or some other equally crap rap type thing, because I would have had to say no. He wanted a 50 Pence single, and I made him go to the desk and pay for it himself as I didn't want the staff to think I liked it.
I've got a busy month coming up, I'm going to see Lee Mack (Not Going Out) Alice Cooper, Squeeze, Manic Street Preachers (last gig of theirs I went to I can't remember, I was so drunk I spent most of the night with my tit hanging out of my top, God I miss alcohol) Kaiser Chiefs and the Foo Fighters. I may need a hearing aid in December.
Clare

Notes on a Book Festival

noreply@blogger.com (Clare Hill) — Sun, 21 Oct 2007 20:59:00 +0000

I look forward to October every year because of the Birmingham Book Festival. I like to take part in writing workshops and see authors read their work, so the book festival is a highlight of my calendar. This year I signed up for Comic Fiction with Mil Millington (What my Girlfriend and I Have Argued About), Night Writer on Tour and a Performance Skills workshop run in conjunction with Apples and Snakes.
Comic Fiction was a great workshop, primarily because the tutor Mil Millington, who is an author I really admire, remembered me from a workshop I attended last year. I’m memorable - he knew my name and everything! I got him to sign one of his books for me, and he put a nice personal dedication on it, so it now has pride of place on my signed-book shelf. Two and a half hours was nowhere near long enough to do justice to the subject of comedy, but it was a pleasant and interesting way to spend an afternoon.
Night writer on tour was a different prospect entirely. Last year we did a night writing workshop in the presidential suite at the Radisson hotel in Birmingham, which was very luxurious. This year was anything but - we were touring the Black Country on a mini bus from ten pm until six am.
Our first stop was Lichfield Cathedral, which I imagine is very beautiful, although I don’t know for sure, as it was dark. Trying to write en route was not the easiest thing I’ve ever done, especially when we turned right and my face got squashed up against the window. We journeyed to Ironbridge Gorge next, where we saw some dark water and some rather startled ducks - alas, no bridge, we were further down the river than that. Wenlock Edge was next on the agenda, where we tramped through some trees and then all turned off our torches. This proved inspirational to me, as I had a panic attack and furiously wrote about my fears when we got back on the bus. Next up was a coffee break at a service station, where we did some writing exercises and woke ourselves up with gallons of coffee.
On the road again, we made our way to Ludlow Castle. Well, not actually the castle, as it’s not open at four am, but we did have a nice brisk walk around the car park in the drizzle. The police who pulled up were bemused, perhaps thinking we were up to no good, but when we explained they were very nice, welcoming us to Ludlow and wishing us well in our endeavours. No doubt they shook their heads at the strange townies when they got out of sight.
It was a long journey back to Birmingham, and we all started to flag. Then we entered the bright lights of another service station, were told that we could have whatever we wanted for breakfast as it was included in the price of the workshop, and all perked up again. The good feelings lasted until we found out that we still had writing exercises to do, and we were going to be late back. We didn’t get back to Birmingham until half past seven, I looked like a zombie, and I had to wait for my lift home. I fell into bed at half past eight, considered the whole experience, and decided there had been too much travelling and not enough writing.
I had higher hopes for the Performance Skills workshop. I’ve done the odd performance, but I’m more of a reader-out than a performer, so I was hoping to get some tips. The input I got from Lorna Laidlaw has completely changed the way I think about performing my work. The highlight of the event was an impromptu performance in the middle of Birmingham town centre. Most people were worrying about looking stupid and furiously practicing their piece, while I was standing in a corner, sobbing uncontrollably and wiping my nose on my sleeve as I didn’t have a tissue. Not because I was frightened of the performance, but because I have agoraphobia and was terrified at the thought of going outside. My head was telling me I was useless and stupid, and I wanted to run away but I couldn’t.
I should explain my agoraphobia, because it is not the traditional type; I can go outside, but only if I’m accompanied by a trusted person, which would be my husband, my boyfriend or my son. I can just about manage getting a taxi to the school on my own if I wear a hat, which limits my field of visibility, my glasses, which I can hide behind, and have my mobile phone up my sleeve for easy access, but unplanned outside-going is not in my repertoire.
All around the room, people were practicing their poetry; I was staring at a brick wall and hoping that no-one would notice that I was crying. I read my poem and tried to concentrate on calming myself. I decided that I was going to do the performance, even though it would be difficult for me. In my mind, I chose a focus person, and as we left the building I just made myself aware of that person, making them more solid than the rest of the people and the surroundings.
We trooped off to Chamberlain Square, where, in front of the fountain, we staged a guerrilla-style performance event, much to the confusion of the people passing by, a lot of whom stopped to watch. My performance went well, but I was the first back to the building, so missed having my photo taken by the organisers. I couldn’t quite believe that I’d done it, and I think any performance I do now will be nowhere near as scary as that!

So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, adieu

noreply@blogger.com (purkul) — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 13:50:00 +0000

hya folks,

well, i thought i'd mark the fact that i am leaving MAGMH by revealing what may be the worst kept secret in history (v real identity of purkul) on a blog post.

Yes twas me all along! V 1 and only Natty b!

I will keep posting in the future (don't know if you'll think that that's a good thing or not!! ha ha)

I'm not great at slushy sentiment but just wanted to say that I'll really miss u guy's! You've taught me so much. I just feel like its time 2 reassess where i am and where i want to go, its just time to move on.

Its been a pleasure and honor!

'One way to get the most out of life is

to look upon it as an adventure'
William Feather

So I am!

Take very good care & stay in touch!

nat
x

The common cold

noreply@blogger.com (Clare Hill) — Thu, 11 Oct 2007 12:08:00 +0000

I have a cold. Not a terrible illness, there's not a lot of dramatic potential to it. I've gotten to that curious stage where everything seems slightly unreal, a bit like some psych meds make you feel, or like psychosis just before you think your loved ones are being inhabited by replicants intent on making you commit suicide. My bedroom smells of old menthol and there is dust from hundreds of tissues swirling about in the air. I would open the window, but I live on a main road so it is not likely to be refreshing.

I can't sleep but I can't get out of bed, so I've read two good-sized hardback books since yesterday, worked a bit on an article and on the books I'm writing, although my heart wasn't really in it. I spent time writing and rewriting the same sentences until I gave up.

My skin looks like uncooked pastry dotted with several zits that have reared their ugly heads. My eyes are all swimmy, like I have cut a few onions, and my head feels as if it has been stuffed with the multicoloured foam that you get in old teddy bears.

Still, musn't grumble, eh?!

Clare xxx

I'm Going Back to Kick Some Ass!!

noreply@blogger.com (Simon) — Tue, 09 Oct 2007 13:21:00 +0000

I have finally mustered up the courage to resume my Kung Fu!! I am very nervous about going back because i know it will be very difficult, as i haven't been for many months and am very out of condition! Still, i am going for it! Sitting on my own in my flat thinking about the past and worrying about the future (indulging in negative speculation) has been very unhelpful and counter-productive; i have decided to say to myself 'f**k it!' its time for action! My masterplan is to go back to kung-fu for about 3 months and when i feel fitter and in a good frame-of-mind i will start going to a gym and working-out. Eat your heart out Arnie! By concentrating on my physical health i hope to bring about a better state of mental health, as exercise and good nutrition has been proved to have a very positive impact on emotional and mental health. The depression i experience so much will hopefully receed into the background, and play a less significant role in my life! Motivating myself will always be an issue, but once i start to see the benefits, i know this will spur me on! F**k you duvet, this is my life and i'm going to live it god- damit! Watch this space for my progress (i'd better do it now or i'm going to look a right prat).
Take care fellow bloggers, may the Force be with You!

wedding day nerves.

noreply@blogger.com (pebbles-ricicle) — Tue, 02 Oct 2007 10:19:00 +0000

Its been a while since my last blog this has been due to technology failure. We have changed internet providers and it has taken me all this time to get broadband up and running. I cant believe how much i missed it.
The countdown is really on now to the wedding. It's 2 weeks on saturday and to put it politely im wetting myself. I know it probably sounds stupid bearing in mind we have 2 children and live together so in theory nothing should change. But i'm so nervous partly because im going to be center of attention which isn't my style but partly because it just seems like such a big deal saying "im going to be with you forever".
I love Sean with all my heart, dont get me wrong he drives me up the wall a lot of the time but without even realising it he has given me so much and taught me so many things about myself. I still get butterflies when he kisses me and he has the ability to make the world stand still when he holds me. He has such a kind and beautiful heart and i'm a lucky girl to have found him (Purkul can take the credit for that). I know he is 'the one' but it doesnt stop me worrying.
I never thought i'd ever meet someone, settle down and do the whole marriage and kids thing so i think thats where my worrying, nerves etc comes from. I'm sure many brides and grooms go through all these feelings. I've found denial is a good place to be at the moment, a friend once introduced me to denial (she knows who she is) and at times like this, when i need to be in organisation mode believe me its where i need to be. Once everything on the list is ticked off and all the plans are in place then i can freak out about the fact i'm going to be someones 'wife'.

To run like you did when you were a kid!

noreply@blogger.com (purkul) — Sun, 30 Sep 2007 22:02:00 +0000

hya all,

its a funny old game ain't it life! (and what a funny old place to start a blog!)

i went for a walk today with my niece, nowhere far away or expensive just a regular walk in the country (city country that is! but green things and ducks were involved)

& well it got me thinking of how special it is

To run like ya did when u were a kid...

how brill it must be,
to run and not know,
or need to know where u r going,
how fab it really was,
to not give a thought to falling down,
or the hurt you may have.
so liberating,
to not care who's watching,
such a joy,
not having a thing that it is that you've got to do,
not having a concept of time,
let alone a need to check how your doing for it.
to run, just for the joy of running itself.
i want to run like i did,
when i was a kid,
or as close to it as i can get
knowing what i know now,
but well, thinking about it,
knowing what i now know,
might make the run even more fun,
knowing what a precious thing that run really is.

Funny ain't it how things just grab u, i just found it to be a really profound moment really, funny as that sounds. just this everyday walk kinda thing.
Memory & our capacity to learn is an important thing, as children it stops us from putting our hand back on the cooker after finding out that it hurt the last time.
But then again in the same way such experiences, as we get older can act to self limit our opportunities and potential for the future and even dampen the present.
So i'm gonna try and give it a go.
& i wanna dedicate this post to me niece for teaching me a great lesson in life (without even realising she's done it!) cheers chicken!

purkul
x

The Battle Goes On!!

noreply@blogger.com (Simon) — Tue, 25 Sep 2007 22:54:00 +0000

The duvet has started to fight me with annoying and scary ferocity, smothering me with its softness, enticing me into its warm embrace, where ll my problems will be at bay whilst i hide from reality in its suffocating dreamworld. I'm still fighting though, even though it try's to stiffle my mind, i refuse to surrender!! So here i am again and its not all bad news, I have recently come back from a lovely holiday in Ibiza, where the warm sun and chilled out vibe where a real boost to my weary yet restless spirit. I even went to a couple of nightclubs, but didn't dance because i'm way too self-concious for that, and just buzzed of the happy vibe! Gary, my commrade in the battle against low-self esteem and confidence, continues to be a great support and help to me and i thank him for that. I miss seeing Emma and Nat and the rest of the mindbloggling possey, but hopefully i can use this blog to maintain contact with them and hopefully arrange for us all to meet up again soon! Congratulations to you Emma on your new job!!! I'm sure you will prove to be a great asset to the organisation! Anyway, the duvet is whispering my name so i'm going to sign off now, but the bastard is not going to have the last laugh! See ya all soon,
Simon

so sorry

noreply@blogger.com (bilingual) — Tue, 11 Sep 2007 12:21:00 +0000

So sorry to hear of my friend leaving here,it will be so hard to see her not here,but i'm sure we will see her more.

Funny how life is sometimes,so i wish 2 dedicate this for her.

I'm still waiting!

noreply@blogger.com (Garfield) — Tue, 11 Sep 2007 12:20:00 +0000

Hi ya!

Baby is not coming yet and I'm still waiting! Should b next week hopefully! To b honest I'm getting bored been pregnant now and I want to see our baby soon! I had plenty of rest last week and still keeping enough energy on me for labour!

We've got a cot last week and its really good cot actually. We've got everything for baby now so he can come out in this world anytime! come on!

My mum rung up this morning and she told me that typhoon came to Japan last week and it was horrible she said. But its all right now so that's good thing anyway. We had a good chat!

I think its getting cold now as autumn coming soon. Its my best season actually, I like to see all leaf's colour changing it is beautiful!

I'm so sorry for my friend's leaving from media action group soon :( We r missing her already!(don't go~~!) But I'm sure we can still keep in touch!

Anyway hope any luck will come to everybody and have a gd day ppl :)

see ya!

What a night! Standing in the way of control!

noreply@blogger.com (purkul) — Mon, 10 Sep 2007 22:38:00 +0000

hya all,

i've been itching to mark this down somewhere but just havn't had the time! well here i go!

i'll set the scene...

friday night me n me bud decided go to c the gossip in brum. we'd been on about goin but neither of us ever got around to booking the tickets for one reason or another, well we decided to go despite having no tickets and the fact that it was sold out!

we got in, watched the gig (which was beth being er usual fab self!) and after the gig we were just leaning on the barrier as every1 else left!

THEN!!!!

out of the stage door comes the one and only beth ditto! who runs over grabs me n gives me a kiss then runs back through the door! now i have to say at this point that beth is my idol! i was completely gob smacked! how ace is that!? mayb she thought i was someone else or somethin! i don't know, but i don't care cuz either way it happened!!

THEN

yes there's more...

i wanted get a limited edition album and they'd sold out. :-( the guy said go down stairs but the security guard wouldn't let any1 down, anyway after i told him y i wanted go down e let us. we get down there and beths out signing autographs and stuff. there were loads a people there & i was gutted cuz i adn't got a pen n 2 b fair that was that many people i didn't chance of getting her autograph if i did! well there was this guy 'Martin' what an absolute star! who came from behind the barrier. e ad a pen but didn't wanna giv it 2 me cuz e needed it so he said he'd go with me get her autograph! but she ran out of time. :-( so super Mart took me ticket n said to meet him up stairs cuz the security guards were moving us on. & Mart the little star came and me me with a ticket signed by all the band!

What a night! can't believe it me, them kinda things just don't happen 2 me! absolutely brill! i've met me idol!

Fabulous! I've shot a vid of the gig too and when i work out how to get it on i will!

Purkul x

Counting down!

noreply@blogger.com (Garfield) — Tue, 04 Sep 2007 12:01:00 +0000

Hi ya!

How r u? I'm fine thank u :) my stomach is dead heavy lol

I'm counting down now till baby's due date! How excited! I'm not scared at all now cuz I'm just thinking labour's pain is natural and I keep opening my mind! I'll b fine! I went to clinic to see my midwife yesterday and she said baby's head position is down now so he is ready to come out to this world! I and my husband heard his strong heart beating (gd gd) and I'm always thinking how he looks like and stuff. Anyway hopefully I can put my next post with baby(never know).

I'll go to hospital this week to join the relax and breathing class with my husband so should b gd experience to us.

My mum rung up this morning by the way and everyone is wondering if baby is born yet or not as they r excited as well. everything is all right over there and weather is getting cool in Japan now(it was dead hot last month apparently) so I'll write to my family very soon!

My husband's birth day is coming very soon! (16th) If baby is born on his birth day, it would b great gift for him do u think!? (I think so). It will b lovely day 4 him anyway :)

Hope u will have a gd day and stay positive!

Take care and see u next time!

PS: Baby's cot will come tonight! yey!

return from athens (northern branch)

noreply@blogger.com (Alec) — Wed, 29 Aug 2007 18:05:00 +0000

I'm back from Edinburgh now, after a great few days. It was the final weekend of most of the festivals, and I managed to see several plays and a film. Given the huge number of productions on offer, I was very lucky that all of them were good, and three were highly imaginative in completely different ways. It's given me a lot to think about, so I'll post about them another time when I've reached some conclusions.

I also got to see my Mum and Dad, which was great, and, as always when I visit, I ate very well. Excellent all round.

noreply@blogger.com (bilingual) — Tue, 28 Aug 2007 13:47:00 +0000

noreply@blogger.com (bilingual) — Tue, 28 Aug 2007 13:23:00 +0000

Garfield's busy week!

noreply@blogger.com (Garfield) — Tue, 28 Aug 2007 12:24:00 +0000

Hello, How r u? I'm fine thank u. I really want to say thank u to all ppl who left comment on my blog cuz they helped me with my worries.

I'm not much scared of labour now as everybody told me panicking is not gd during labour and I think it will b fine as long as I am relaxing and keep gd breathing so I feel much better now!

My health visitor came up last week and she is really nice woman actually and gave me lots of useful and helpful advices! She will visit us again sometimes after baby's birth. All things goes all right :)

Yes, I had a lovely birthday thank u, My mum, my nan and my aunty sent me birthday cards from Japan! I had lots of chocolates as well (naughty naughty) it was great anyway! I'm not teenager anymore now(strange) lol

By the way, I realised that Xmas is coming soon(4 months) as I had look at a Xmas magazine on the other day! Hope we will have just nice snowing on the Xmas day and hope Santa will come to our house with presents. How excited! I know it seems ages to come but it will be coming soon!

Anyway hope everybody have a great day!

PS: Did u have a nice bank holiday Monday?

See ya!

At long last

noreply@blogger.com (Alec) — Wed, 22 Aug 2007 17:29:00 +0000

OK, it was several weeks ago in real time, but in blog terms it was only the post before last when I wrote about scanning the skin a snake had shed. A couple of people commented that they'd like to see it. Well, here it is. (Sorry about the delay.)

I'm getting married!

noreply@blogger.com (pebbles-ricicle) — Wed, 22 Aug 2007 10:13:00 +0000

My partner and i decided on thursday night that we were going to set a date for the wedding. We have been putting it off mainly because of money, the modern wedding is very expensive so we were planning to save up. Life gets in the way of these things though there is so many things we want to do so saving for the wedding had kind of taken a back seat really. We are doing some building work at the moment and our new kitchen is being fitted in a few weeks, we want to replace the bathroom suite, which like the kitchen we inherited with the house and has needed changing since we moved in. Then of course there are the girls, and children certainly dont come cheap. Then there is the 101 other things that need doing so the big wedding thing was never going to happen.
I always thought i would get married in Scotland but it just wasnt going to be feasible so we decided to wait no longer and plan a wedding for down here. Neither of us are religious so we opted for a registry office, i called the registrar on Friday morning and within a few minutes i had a wedding date for the 20th October this year (9 weeks away). I cant believe its happening so quickly, i've gone into planning mode, with lots of panic thrown in. I'm doing not to bad the reception is booked and the catering sorted, as is the cake. I'm going to view wedding cars tonight and i've got quotes from photographers. I've chosen the florist and what flowers i want i just need to go and speak to her about how i want them arranged. I'm going for roses because sean is english and thistles because i'm scottish.
Sean has chosen his best man although i dont think either of them are keen on the fact i want them to wear kilts. They have fittings on saturday for them. I love a man in a kilt i'm sure they will be happier once the see them on (i hope). I'm going wedding dress shopping on friday, i'm very excited but also really nervous for some reason. I have also ordered dresses for Jessica and Ruby, they are going to look so cute! I just need to organise a kilt for my nephew and a dress for my neice, this is a little more difficult as they live in Alness which is near Inverness, but i'm sure i'll sort something.
Purkul is doing a fantastic job helping me make the invites, we thought it would be cheaper and nicer to make our own. It has been pretty hard work but they are looking really good i think. I couldnt have done it all without her help though, she is a star!
I better get back to it now, still lots to do and children to look after.

take care.
x

Garfield's diary

noreply@blogger.com (Garfield) — Tue, 21 Aug 2007 12:45:00 +0000

Hello, How r u all? I'm not too bad.
I and my husband have been his mate's funeral this morning, God bless. and my health visitor rung up as well, she is coming to our flat day after and I'm bit nervous but never mind.( have to tidy up!)
We went to hospital last Saturday to join one of maternity class and it was all right and big help to me as midwife gave us lots of gd information about labour and baby things. I can't believe baby will b born next month! How quick it is! Anyway hope everything will b all right deffo! so scared!!!
My mum rung up on the other day and she wrote to us as well, everything is all right over there and my family r so excited 4 baby! Its dead hot in Japan now according to my mum and my dad and my brothers went to night fishing the other day! sounds fun!
We've got a moses basket off niece as my mum in low told us this morning on the phone, it was big surprise! Everything is getting organized bit by bit so thats gd!
Sometimes I'm really panicking and worried a lot about anything even I don't want to feel like that but I can't help it donno y. Mayb just nervous to have first baby or cud b anything but I think I need to have more rest and be more relaxed to b honest! I'll do my best anyway.
My birth day is coming very soon (24th) by the way and I'll be 20! yey! I think this year is really special to me as everything has been changed gd way since I came here and having baby next month and such..... I must have my gardening angel behind me lol
Anyway hope everybody is doing all right and have a gr8 day folks!
See u!

hello there

noreply@blogger.com (mb1013) — Mon, 20 Aug 2007 14:42:00 +0000

not been on here for a while just want to say today a thank you for all the messages ive received i will answer individually one week but have to go home soon as im tired ... had a wonderful day yesterday at the v fesival in stafford but now reolise that although i love music and going to these concerts im getting a bit old for it ... wish i was 20 years younger as they say the mind is willing but the body week anyway love to you all take care xx

I don't know what to say really...

noreply@blogger.com (jeffri) — Mon, 20 Aug 2007 14:33:00 +0000

hello,

I'd like to say thank you to everyone that has commented on my blog.

I lost a friend recently, he was very well read and highly intelligent. I first met him some years ago, his room was wall to wall filled with books, all the classics. We used to joke about being the 'two tramps' in waiting for Godot ( a famous book by samuel Beckett) . Its heart breaking and difficult to talk about. but its just life i suppose.

I'm having one of my paintings exhibited in London, in 'Mad Art' organised by national mind. The title of the piece is called 'screaming landscape'. I'd like to go and see it in the exhibition but i'll have to see how I go, I'll let you know.

http://www.mind.org.uk/madart/ follow this link to find out more!

I would like to say that being involved with the Mind Bloggling has helped my mental health in general, being able to put my artwork online means a great deal to me and gives me a different perspective.

I enjoy the social aspect of the group and gives me a sense of being a part of a wider community with other people who have problems.

can't think of anything else to say at the moment.

jeffri

back to the future

noreply@blogger.com (Alec) — Sat, 18 Aug 2007 20:30:00 +0000

I'm not there yet, but at long last it feels like the end of the tunnel is approaching and that I'm returning to normal. A lot has happened in the last few months, and I think it all got a bit too much, so I retreated back to the very basics - home and work.

I've felt like a fraud recently, because I haven't blogged, I've hardly visited the allotment, I haven't been to see the bees, I've taken very few photographs, and I've contributed little or nothing to the organisations I help. In short, I've generally done little of what's fun.

But things are starting to change. I took a few photographs this afternoon, I've come up with an idea for a new design for my personal website, I feel like blogging again and I'm off to Edinburgh in a few days' time.

In the shit again!

noreply@blogger.com (Simon) — Tue, 14 Aug 2007 17:49:00 +0000

I'm not doing too well at the moment ( what's new eh?). Things have really been getting on top of me lately and i am currently residing at Hillcrest Hostel having some respite. I'm getting sick and tired of being sick and tired if you know what i mean! It's good to know that people are rooting for me and care when i'm not well, but it's still hard to get out from under that duvet. I haven't posted for a long time but i thought i would make the effort, and it has made me feel a bit better doing this blog. When i'm back at home i will get looking at other peoples' blogs and make some encouraging comments. Take care my fellow bloggers and stay positive.
Simon

'THE AUTHOR OF MY OWN LIFE' !........

noreply@blogger.com (Domenica) — Sun, 12 Aug 2007 14:14:00 +0000

CHILE....... ARGENTINA......BRAZIL......

Well, what can I say!....except Yippee! 'I'm over the moon with excitement' I'm going on a Grand Tour of South America. I've paid my deposit, I've booked my place, and so, on the 16th March to April 1st 2008 I will be spending 17 days visiting this vast continent's most spectacular countries, I will be dancing to the rhythms of Latin American music.....looking in wonder at the soaring mountains, grasslands and glaciers.......discovering the rich culture and vibrant spirit developed from great Inca civilizations, blending with modern cosmopolitan cities.....it is going to be absolutely fantastically wonderful!!!
I shall be visiting......*Santiago * The Andes* Buenos Aires* Iguacu Falls* Rio de Janeiro.....I will be seeing places that I have previously only heard mentioned in songs i. e. Copacabana, Ipanema, and I'll see Sugar Loaf Mountain....etc..etc.
The time for thinking and talking are over, this is the time for doing!...and action! Now I have started, I just have to keep up the momentum and not stop.

'I'VE DECIDED TO GET UP AND LOOK FOR THE CIRCUMSTANCES I WANT IN MY LIFE........AND IF I CAN'T FIND THEM........I WILL MAKE THEM'!

Good weather

noreply@blogger.com (MB1007) — Tue, 07 Aug 2007 13:52:00 +0000

Well it is the beginning of August, and the weather is lovely so far after the rainy weather and the floods. the newspaper says that it will be an Indian summer, and will be mild until November. Hope so; It was stormy last night, but nice again today. Saw my son last week at Crewe where we went for a meal. Seeing him at the end of the month when he is on holiday to go too Chester and Trentham Gardens. Hope the weather is like it is today, even better. I have also completed the OCN qualification for Healthy eating and exercise which was a Unit one qualification, but as of yet have not thought how to use the qualifications . The qualification is with Beth Johnson Foundation. I have enjoyed the course very much, and have learn't much about healthy eating and exercise.

new post

noreply@blogger.com (Leonardo) — Tue, 07 Aug 2007 13:21:00 +0000

hi peeps watch this!

ENJOY

well i watched the movie of the week!
here in Itally and boy it was a right peep!
TRANSFORMERS
ANY ONE SEEN IT??
WOT U SAY ABOUT THIS ONE ?
GO AND SEE IT!
PRESENTLY im on the grapes im treading and laughing at these sour grapes on at the moment,
anyways
i have a joke to share with u wat u get when u get to cross a which
with a zebra?
well the pagan and wiccan groupies appreciatied my effort of ceremonial initian of tryin?
NOT!
wanna know well ask
me and tell u okay.
see you and enjoy the grapes without the peeps of course in your local internatinal TESCO as the assistant says in a wicked witch VOICE"
"They probably are ah ah ah! by the way the ahhhs were insertd because of my injured ankle.
Have fun loads of
"im lovin it style "
in macdonalds at the moment haven my fillet with fries
see you irresistable beings later take care and
dont break a leg
lol
bye for now
leornardos saying
step 1
smile at yourself as u may not be as incredible as some one else
but who cares!
yep someone does and it me peeps.
2 LEO DOES CARE
even if u dont like roma or italy or even wine
no worry have a curry instead any if u dont like this
LEONARDOS has and incredible ability to live and let live sounding like thriller no and itS not michael jacko
its MR L E O (BOND)
THE MAN WITH THE license TO THRILL!
AS The grapes are doone and i need to put them in the green bottles standing on the wall and if those green bottled should accidently fall the there will be no green bottles to sing about anymore
byeeeeeeeeeeeeeee peeeeeeeeeppppsssssssssss
im gone chill oUCH The ankle
until again!
take care of yourselfs

noreply@blogger.com (MB1007) — Tue, 07 Aug 2007 13:11:00 +0000

I have completed the "Changes" Co-ordinators, and have got good results, although as of yet I have not done any co-ordinating. Perhaps in time. Has anyone been on holiday? I go in September visiting friends, which I mentioned in the previous Blog. My friend has now gone too Australia with her husband visiting relatives. went on Saturday- 16 hour flight stopping at Singapore. wish I was there Huh:

noreply@blogger.com (MB1007) — Tue, 07 Aug 2007 12:48:00 +0000

I have not been Bloggling for a while due to other circumstance, but I intend to do more Bloggling. It is a lovely day today after the storm. I am going away too Suffolk in September to visit my friend, and her family. They are moving too a four bedroom house near to where they live. I am also doing voluntary work with North Staffs Carers and Community Empowerment which I enjoy. I am doing Business Administration work with the Carers and Community Empowerment. I go from two until four. I have made many friends there. One of my friends is in Australia at the moment visiting relatives. They are there for the rest of August. Went on the 4th August. The flight is sixteen hours with a stop at Singapore.

Mull of Galloway

noreply@blogger.com (pebbles-ricicle) — Mon, 06 Aug 2007 14:27:00 +0000

We got back on saturday from our week away in the Mull of Galloway, the most southernly point of Scotland. It is a beautiful part of the country and i would recommend it to anyone who wants some peace and quiet, quality time to themselves with beautiful views and who doesnt mind having cows as their nearest neighbours. It was really remote but as long as you have a car you're in travelling distance to a lot of lovely little villages and towns.

It took us five hours to get there but that did include a stop for feeding, nappy change and a stretch of the legs. Ruby slept most of the way only waking for her feed so that was good but gone are the days when our oldest slept all the way. So there were a couple of arguments over the straps on her car seat (we are going through a phase of trying to escape the restraints of her car seat) but we all made it in one piece.

Jessica loved spending time with my niece (12) and nephew (5). We were staying in the old lighthouse keepers cottage now owned by the National Trust. The garden was very secure so the kids could run around without an adult with them constantly and then there were plenty of places to walk outside the cottage. The view out the rooms at the back of the cottage looked straight out onto the sea, definately a lovely way to wake up in the mornings.

We went to Port Logan and Port Patrick both lovely little towns with small beaches. Jessica insisted that the beach was made of snow, (poor child doesnt get to see much sand in Stoke-on-Trent). We visited a victorian fish larder, basically a big pond full of fish but the kids got to hold star fish and other such creatures so they loved it. And of course we climbed to the top of the lighthouse (115 steps) amongst other various trips. But the best trip was probably on the HSS Stena to Belfast. The ferry was lovely inside and there was plenty of things to do on board including a cinema. When we got to Belfast we took a coach trip to the zoo. Had to climb lots of steep hills in the zoo so the kids were all ready for bed by the time we got back to the cottage that night.

I've always been a fan of my mobile phone but it was a rare occasion when one of us got reception, but it was kinda nice having the feeling of being away from it all. But sadly its back to normality now, although i do feel my batteries have been recharged some what.

noreply@blogger.com (jeffri) — Mon, 06 Aug 2007 14:18:00 +0000

SINK....SURVIVE....SWIM!

noreply@blogger.com (Domenica) — Sun, 05 Aug 2007 21:55:00 +0000

In reflective mood (yet again!) I have come to realise that throughout my life, there have been occasions when I did sink. Then I learned how to survive. Now however, I know that the time has come for me to swim! Over the past 11 years or so I have made many small changes, now I feel the time is right to make a huge change in my lifestyle. This change is long overdue, (at one time I thought it was a work plan or maybe a business plan I needed) Not so!... it is a..... 'rest of my life plan'. I have worked for over 30 years, raised my daughter as a single parent for 10 years and also cared for my mother for the past 9 years. I need to capitalise on the freedom that not working can bring, and begin to really enjoy my life to the full. Just surviving is no longer an option. It feels like I have been 'treading water' or floating on the surface of life just to keep my head above the water. Every new day is so precious, I can swim! and I will!

TO HAVE WHAT I'VE NEVER HAD..... I MUST DO WHAT I'VE NEVER DONE.

The Sad Tale of the Thorntons Chocolates

noreply@blogger.com (Chocolate Girl) — Sun, 05 Aug 2007 10:47:00 +0000

Before I begin I should just say that anyone who gets easily upset should avoid reading this post.

On Thursday night I decided to do some ironing while watching Eastenders. As ever, I was in the mood for chocolate, so I decided to dip into the last of the large box of Thorntons that I was given as a leaving present (yes there were some left!). I got the box from the cupboard, opened the lid and placed the box on the coffee table - I could then dip in as I was ironing.

I began my chore and ate a chocolate (yes just one). After I had finished I went to see my boyfriend who was doing some work in the garage. (At this point I think it is worth mentioning that we have a 16 year old Staffordshire Bull Terrior cross.) I returned to the livingroom and to my dismay the Thorntons' box was upside down on the floor and all the chocolates were gone! I can't remember how many were left but I know that 2 of them were wrapped in foil but foil is obviously no obsticle for our dog! As you may beable to imagine my boyfriend's words of comfort - 'but the ones that were left weren't your favourites' - did nothing to make me feel better - THEY WERE THORNTONS CHOCOLATES!

Anyway, I've got that off my chest! By the way our dog is fine after his chocolate indulgance.

The Sad Tale of the Thorntons Chocolates

noreply@blogger.com (Chocolate Girl) — Sun, 05 Aug 2007 10:47:00 +0000

noreply@blogger.com (jeffri) — Mon, 30 Jul 2007 16:33:00 +0000

noreply@blogger.com (mb1013) — Mon, 30 Jul 2007 13:58:00 +0000

hello again its been a while since ive been here ive been busy holidaying to Barcelona and Madrid had a wonderful time anyway back to reality now.... im busy at work changes there hopefully for the best....... im in the process of sorting out our anual holiday this year mayb to llandudno or weston super mare think we will be going early october ... look forward to anyone sending me a message to let me know how you are doing. carol x

Tears and tantrums

noreply@blogger.com (pebbles-ricicle) — Sun, 15 Jul 2007 22:18:00 +0000

Can you believe this weather its suppose to be July so where is the sun? Was hoping with the sun would come long walks to help lose the baby weight i gained and also get the girls out in the fresh air but it would appear that its not meant to be. I feel like a caged animal when i cant get out the house for days on end. Ruby doesnt sleep much during the day if we are in the house so ive got both kids to keep entertained, which can be quite difficult when the older one wants to paint or make cakes and the younger one picks this time to want a feed or need a nappy change. This usually results in quite a mess, my ability to multi task is definately put to the test.

Ruby is 10 weeks old now and she is getting much easier especially at night. It can take a couple of attempts to get her settled but once she is asleep i pretty much get the evening to myself then. The problem this week has been with Jessica. On wednesday she had a party at playgroup for all the kids that are leaving and starting school after the summer. We walked in and to say there were kids and adults everywhere is an understatement i found it quite intimidating so i can only imagine how she felt and she got quite upset. I decided to stay with her so as not to upset her any more but while we were in the group singing i had to leave the room as Ruby woke up and was screaming Jessica started to cry and one of the play leaders held onto her and shut the door behind me. She did stop crying but as soon as they left the room to come back to the main hall and Jessica saw me she became quite distressed again. She eventually calmed down and seemed to enjoy the rest of the party. However that night when we tried to put her to bed she threw an almighty tantrum when we tried to close the bedroom door, a couple of hours later she calmed down enough to fall asleep, but since then whenever we shut a door or stairgate and she cant get to us she becomes really distressed. Her behaviour has also changed when we take her out, we get a lot more tears and tantrums that we did before. We are finding it difficult because she disturbs Ruby and we have never really had a problem with her at night she has pretty much always been a good sleeper and we have never needed to leave a light on or have the door open. Each night she is slowly getting better but at the moment the door is having to be left open although the size of gap it is left open is gradually getting smaller and im hoping in a few night we can have it shut altogether. I dont know if this is a normal phase kids go through, separation anxiety i think they call it or if its a real problem. I just hope she gets back to normal soon. But i think it just shows how one seemingly small incident can have a big impact on a child and their behaviour. It has really made me think.

Things Are Looking Up!!!

noreply@blogger.com (Simon) — Fri, 13 Jul 2007 12:54:00 +0000

Yippee!! I just wanted to let you all know I have finally got my computer connected to the internet and this is my first post using it from home. Thanks to Gary for letting me use his computer for so long, now im up and running I intend to blog alot more regularly.
Wouldn't this weather drive you mad? I've never know a summer so wet and miserable in all my life! As I type this blog the rain is pelting down and lashing against my window.
I had a good piece of news today. I had been stressed all week as I had a medical interiew scheduled for 11.00am today to assess my eligibillity for Incapacity Benefit. However, on my arrival I was informed that due to further investigation at my doctor's they had recieved sufficient evidence to not need to see me that day. All that stress for nothing! However, the good news is they will now leave me alone and let me get on with getting better.
Sorry I missed you all on Friday night it would of been nice to see you but I'm sure we will have a get together again soon.
Just a short blog today but stay tuned for more misery at a later date (only kidding).
See ya,
Simon

Goodbye Hello

noreply@blogger.com (Chocolate Girl) — Wed, 11 Jul 2007 18:09:00 +0000

Well I promised I would and here it is...a photo of all the lovely chocolates I received for my leaving presents.

I wanted to say 'thank you' to everyone for making my last week at MAGMH so special - I am misssing you all.

Well that's all for this time, so take care and be good.

...by the way I've eaten 2 of the smaller boxes!

Goodbye Hello

noreply@blogger.com (Chocolate Girl) — Wed, 11 Jul 2007 18:09:00 +0000

Well I promised I would and here it is...a photo of all the lovely chocolates I received for my leaving presents.

I wanted to say 'thank you' to everyone for making my last week at MAGMH so special - I am misssing you all.

Well that's all for this time, so take care and be good.

...by the way I've eaten 2 of the smaller boxes!

noreply@blogger.com (jeffri) — Mon, 09 Jul 2007 13:21:00 +0000

It was the death of my parents, my last parent, my Father, around 2000, which triggered depression & chronic anxiety & violent panic attacks which have terrorised and terrified my life.

I have been like a criminal caught in a spotlight with nowhere to run.

Abusive neighbours took advantage of me as a traumatised & vulnerable adult with verbal abuse & bullying.

I have been unable to leave the family home to find my own place.

I am subject to compulsive checking routines which take 2 hrs before I can leave the house in the morning.

I have been trapped in a nightmare with art as my only way out. Unable to paint at home, mental health drop-ins have been the only places where I can work and have done 200 paintings since '02 making a total of 400 which I have.

I long to get better, feel troubled inside which no-one can see- a constant state of illness which no-one can see by looking at me (with some improvements).

I have learned that people who are different or vulnerable are treated apallingly in Stoke on Trent.

It is only the mental health charities which have offered protection in a horrible climate.

They are a better class of person I have met there.

Recently watched the film "Pollock" about the great American expressionist artist who found a soul mate- a woman who believed in him as a great artist - and helped him to achieve critical success though he eventually found it hard to to cope with.

His wife Lee, herself an artist, apparently called him "Pollock" (his surname) - an endearing sort of story.

Jeffri

post three

noreply@blogger.com (jeffri) — Mon, 02 Jul 2007 13:32:00 +0000

faced with a blank screen i sometimes clam up my past is like weight to be thrown off so i can live in the present admire many people and artists patti smith van gogh jg ballard kurt vonnegut hendrix syd barratt suede we must move on with force.

postnatal check and buggy buying minefield

noreply@blogger.com (pebbles-ricicle) — Thu, 28 Jun 2007 13:05:00 +0000

Ruby is 8 weeks old now and growing by the day. She had her postnatal check on tuesday and is tipping the scales (quite literally) at 12lb 5oz and is 57cm long. So in 8 weeks she has gained 4lb 2oz and grown 7 cm, what are they putting in the formula i ask myself. With her little chubby cheeks she is pretty damn cute though and all the receptionists at the doctors were all fussing over her although she wasnt all that impressed by them. But she was even less impressed by her first lot of vaccinations, i'm sure the whole of stoke on trent must have heard her scream. And we have got to go through it all again in 4 weeks times, something to look forward to.

We went buggy shopping last night. Ruby has been using the buggy we bought for her sister as it has the whole travel system thing going on but i decided the buggy is just too big and clumsy and a nightmare to get on and off buses and when we fold it in the back of the car it takes up half the boot space which is quite an achievement as we have an estate. We went to mothercare 'just to have a look' who would have thought it was so difficult to choose a buggy. There is so much to consider whether you want 'compact telescopic fold' or a 'lightweight flat fold chassis' and whether you need 'four way suspension' or just 'air-filled back tyres for greater suspension' not to mention '360 degree monofork front swivel wheel and disc brake' (what the hell is that!!!) you can even get one with a built in docking station for an ipod so you can play nursery rhymes to your baby while out and about. Then of course there is which colour to choose sulphur or pistachio, indian spice or strawberry. I just wanted a buggy that looks half decent and that ruby can sit in! we ended up leaving with a loola which has all round suspension, handle mounted lock to switch between fixed or swivel wheels and lightweight aluminium frame, they were sold out of pearly grey so we went for sport red. Most importantly we didnt need to take out a second mortgage to afford it . And after all that was Ruby impressed by our choice? I dont think she even noticed that she wasnt in her usual buggy that's gratitude for you.
x

snakes on a desk

noreply@blogger.com (Alec) — Thu, 21 Jun 2007 07:37:00 +0000

Yesterday, someone brought two snake skins to work - not made into anything, just complete, empty skins that had been shed. One was about a foot long, and even had the eye coverings that snakes develop just before they shed their skins (and apparently, because they can't see, that's when they're most dangerous).

The other skin was even more impressive. It was from a boa constrictor, about four feet long, and felt like tissue paper. The pattern varied from small patches on top to much larger ones underneath. I scanned the skin on an A3 scanner, and although I don't know how I'm going to use it yet, I'm sure it has potential for powerful images.

Many years ago, I saw a snake in the process of shedding its skin at Chester Zoo, but handling a complete skin was even better.

marching as to war

noreply@blogger.com (Alec) — Tue, 12 Jun 2007 21:50:00 +0000

Soldiers from the Stafford regiment marched through Hanley at lunchtime today. Someone in a fancy hat, perhaps the mayor or similar, stood on a raised wooden platform, with a reasonable crowd around who applauded as the 200-odd young lads went past, drums beating.

A Warrior armoured vehicle was parked nearby, and young boys were welcoming the opportunity to climb inside. Recruitment officers were working, as they frequently do in Hanley, one of the areas with low wages which tend to be major suppliers of troops.

I found myself getting confused between anger and sorrow at the whole spectacle. Parading banners is a traditional activity going back hundreds of years, but in these days when the regiment has recently returned from Iraq, there is far more to it.

Young people are lured into a dangerous part of the world with the prospect of 'better' wages or career, and die in a war which we started, supported by an incompetent government and opposition and led by a Prime Minister who at best misled Parliament with false information largely copied from an essay on the Internet and at worst actively and knowingly lied to the country.

There was no public inquiry into the case for invasion, yet young people continue to enlist and their families and neighbours stand applauding them in the street. We will never truly regenerate this city while people feel that the army is their best option, and we will continue to be complicit in war while people keep joining up and accepting orders.

Lazy Days of Summer

noreply@blogger.com (mb1010) — Mon, 21 May 2007 13:28:00 +0000

Hi, what has happened to the hot summer that everyone was forecasting. I even went out and bought a big fan because I was expecting really hot weather along with hose pipe bans. As long as it doesn't get above 80F. I will enjoy the summer if not the humidity.

attention all ladys

noreply@blogger.com (sittingbull) — Tue, 08 May 2007 12:15:00 +0000

hi everyone hope everyones had a good weekend what did you do over the bank holiday well i went to see a play at the thearte and saw hot flush it was about 4 wimin slagging off men ha ha to all you men the wimin were talking about the menopause it was really funny. one woman had a husdand who spent all his time in the shed a nother womans hubby ran of with a younger bloke but the younger bloke was his mums friend and his mum didnt know the 3rd womans hubby died and the fourth woman her hubby was always away with work so a right mixture from all 4 and they were all in there late 40s early 50s but ladys dont be scared its just a part of life but there is somethink out there that will help all you wimin with this experence that you are going thru its called hrt it helps so all is not lost but i recomend if hot flush comes to thee regent again that you should go see it and the next news is that stoke city just missed out on the play offs so better luck next season

hi and welcome to new bloggers

noreply@blogger.com (sittingbull) — Tue, 01 May 2007 13:32:00 +0000

hi everyone hope everyones ok. ive been having trouble with my blog but think ive solved the problem any way its nice to see new blogers coming on board so a very big hi to the new blogers ill end here so take care stay safe keep blogging ill be in touch soon

noreply@blogger.com (sittingbull) — Tue, 01 May 2007 13:32:00 +0000

Zhenka's First Post-Hypnosis Anybody?

noreply@blogger.com (mb1017) — Mon, 30 Apr 2007 13:54:00 +0000

Hi this is my first time blogging-I work for Mind as a counsellor and project worker-i'm very passionate and dedicated towards improving peoples quality and experience of life-I love books and walking my border collie dog, I used to sing in bands (a few years ago now),but since becoming involved with therapy, I simply don't have the time and my inspirations have moved my life in a different direction-I'm currentlystudying hypnosis and last year did my NLP practitioner certificate-I'd love to hear about peoples experiences of hypnosis and anyone's stories of how they have used their self development ideas/techniques/philosophies to help manage their lives-i'll also post up some of my songs in the future.

About Me

noreply@blogger.com (mb1013) — Mon, 30 Apr 2007 13:20:00 +0000

Hello im Carol working as a support worker in meltal health. I have been doing this for the past 8 yrs . I work in the community meeting lots ot interesting people and hopefully helping them to deal with the problems they experience in their lives. I facilitate groups on a daily basis sometimes seeing the same people every day. This has enabled me to form a good professional,friendly relationship with these people, some people say that it feels like a family. I have an exerllent working relationship with my work colleagues which to me is very important.I really enjoy my work and hope i make some difference to some of these peoples lives ..........

Gary Dutton

noreply@blogger.com (mb1010) — Mon, 30 Apr 2007 13:19:00 +0000

In March I spent a weekend in Anglesey with friends from North Staffs Mind. We stayed in an old school house. We all chipped in with the cooking and cleaning and we had a right laugh. On Saturday we went to Beaumaris which was a pretty little town. The weather was beautiful but a little windy and cool. Instead of driving down the A55 we went the scenic route through the countryside stopping off in picturesque Llangollen for some lunch. We are going away for another weekend to Betys Coed in June when hopefully the weather will be much warmer.

Top OF nanas garden

noreply@blogger.com (mb1015) — Mon, 30 Apr 2007 13:18:00 +0000

Top Of Nannas Garden......

There are lovely fairies at the top of nannies garden under the cherry blossom trees. At night when we are in bed they all come out to play . We have a chief fairy called Matilda she is so beautifull she has lovely long blonde hair and the most gorgeous blue eyes. They hold hands and dance in a circle singing, because I hear them at night when I sleep with Nana

author mark downey

noreply@blogger.com (mb1011) — Mon, 30 Apr 2007 13:15:00 +0000

"In the harly morning I wait for the dwarning to arive, for time as knowe remanents of eny other day, so I have alot to go through inwitch, I MOVE MY TIME FORWEREED IN LITTLE STEPS".

Some moments come into play & when I move my life to one more day.

So indead I look forwered to making my own way through this indeLIble thing called life in fack I WALK SWIFT AND free".

one day at a time

noreply@blogger.com (mb1014) — Mon, 30 Apr 2007 13:12:00 +0000

ONE day in my life ,was when i met my true love.now after (forty years) we are still together , i feel the same today . we have three children one boy two girls, but now our family has grown ,and multiplied , and we now have eight children two boys, and six girls , they all live around us , so that works out very well, as we always have a place to go and rest our tired legs .it also works well for the children , to use us to baby sit. Its ok at times as the children are great fun to be with .they make us so proud to be with them they have respect for each other and find time to talk with people .they love animals and when they pass away they bury them in there garden and say a little prayer to say thank you for allowing them to be there friend , i would also like to thank my wife in my time of need .
2 BEE SURE

THIS IS MY VERY FIRST TIME AT BLOGGING I FIND IT VERY INTERESTING ILL BE back thank s to the staff who are great ...... 2bee sure.........

Easter Post

noreply@blogger.com (Chocolate Girl) — Fri, 13 Apr 2007 14:04:00 +0000

As I haven't wriiten a blog for a few days(!) I thought I post some pictures of my Easter chocolates. The rabbit was bought for me by my collegues and, according to them, was the most chocolatisty chocolate thing in Cha***ns (am aware that we shouldn't advertise for anyone no matter how good their chocolate cakes are!). The other picture is of the easter eggs I received, or should I say is of two of the eggs and the packet of maltesers that was left from the third one!

Chocolate: sometimes I like it just for the taste, or because I'm feeling tired and need a quick sugar fix, and other times I eat it because I'm feeling anxious. I think I need to stop now as this blog is beginning to take on a mental health aspect!

Easter Post

noreply@blogger.com (Chocolate Girl) — Fri, 13 Apr 2007 14:04:00 +0000

leoanardos touring italy

noreply@blogger.com (Leonardo) — Wed, 11 Apr 2007 11:24:00 +0000

Thank for viewing the photos in my blog while at italy.
have u any comments,what are you into?
kind regards
leornardo

hi there everyone

noreply@blogger.com (sittingbull) — Tue, 10 Apr 2007 13:19:00 +0000

hi everyone thanks for yur comments havent had chance to reply to you all before today as ive been working ill try to do my post as often as i can if i dont reply dont worry im just a little tied up hope everyones had a nice easter. take care everyone talk soon

hello peeps!

noreply@blogger.com (Leonardo) — Wed, 04 Apr 2007 11:48:00 +0000

greetings to all!
im presently eating my grapes here in italy and wanted to share this with you!
kind regards

noreply@blogger.com (chris164) — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 14:04:00 +0000

Thanks for all the encouragement that everyone gave me for passing my driving test.

I managed to pass thankfully a week ago to nearly this very minute. It's very strange to look back and say that a week ago i was in despair at the thought that the test was just about upon me. Now i can say "what was i worrying about." However as always i was unable to keep the negative thoughts completely at bay as i had some quite hilariously annoying circumstances to deal with. so here are a few:

It had been snowing in Buxton where i was taking the test

i was worrying as normal

Which led to me convincing my self i had food poisoning

Couldn't stand my driving instructor

rain, hail n snow to start the test

the five way middle o town traffic lights weren't working

So with this all happening just for me a lot of doubt barged its way into my mind. By the end i'd convinced myself that i must have failed, with all the pencil scratching he was doin next to me. any how i didn't n it's a big load off my mind.

Driving on your own for the first time is a little weird. All of a sudden i realized that i'm responsible for the car i'm driving and everyone else's that i scrape past as well. It's all a little lonely as well, especially with no radio. I've decided that it'll be the time that sing to myself, just to keep myself company.

Any how thanx again for all the encouragement on my last post.

Cheers

Vacation

noreply@blogger.com (MB1007) — Tue, 06 Mar 2007 14:39:00 +0000

I am looking forward to my next holiday in Suffolk at the end of April, when I am visiting friends who will this year move too Canterbury in Kent, so this will be the last time I will see Suffolk. Went too see the pictures at the week-end - music and Lyrics which was ver good. Drew Galloway and Hugh Grant were in the movie, and I think the movie won a award. I enjoy going too the movies, and enjoyed some excellent movies, plus DVD's, and videos. Going too the theatre on Saturday - "The Lyceum", at Crewe - to see a Daphne du Maurier production. I saw Lennie Henry on last week at the "American" in Cobridge- to do with Comic relief.

hi all

noreply@blogger.com (sittingbull) — Tue, 06 Mar 2007 14:13:00 +0000

hi all thanks for letting me join your happy band im sure that you will all read my messages im new to this so im might be typing a load of rubish but really im not can i say a big thank you to all of you thats all for know take care all sittingbull

Encouragement

noreply@blogger.com (MB1007) — Tue, 06 Mar 2007 13:31:00 +0000

Thanks for the encouragement regarding the presentation course. I was very nervous at the presentation, and my mind went completely blank, and what I knew went completely out of my head. Was considering giving it up yesterday, but not sure now. I have really enjoyed the course though, and highly recommend if to anyone considering doing the course. The weather is lovely today, after the week end, when it poured with rain. Went for a meal to the "Poachers nest" near Trentham Gardens with friends on Sunday, plus I have got an interview with a volunteer organisation on Monday - North Staffs Carers at 1.30 pm. Someone from Beth Johnson organisationn is coming to take me there. They have been a great help to me.

Back once again!

noreply@blogger.com (Defiant) — Sun, 04 Mar 2007 23:14:00 +0000

Hi folks!
It's been a couple of weeks since my first blog on this new google account. I find it difficult to get into the habit of bloggling. The habit will build with time, I reckon.

It's been a good couple of weeks for me. I got meself some new glasses last weekend, (2-4-1 at Specsavers, I recommend it!) It's been a few years since my last new pair, and my eyes had gotten worse, (I'm short-sighted). The optician also said that my old frames were bent, (I'm sure I must have dropped them more than once!), and this combined led to my noticeable decline in my vision. Also, I didn't realise that they cut the lenses and sorted the frames on the premises, like they do at Vision Express! So I had my pair in about an hour and a half! (Free advert for 'em!)

Anyway, when I finally started to where my new glasses, everything was so much clearer, and the ground seemed closer than it had been b4. (The optician said this might happen). I suppose the parts of my brain that process vision must perceive that for the floor to be that clear when I was wearing my old pair of glasses, I would have needed to be closer to the floor! That's fine, (well it's better than fine, now I can see clearly again!), except, I feel a foot shorter when I'm walking! Also, when I was driving, I felt as if I was sitting closer to the ground. Actually, that reminds me of when I was a child, and we all used to go with my parents, on a Sunday afternoon, while my mother was learning to drive. My Dad had a Land Rover, so being in Metro, which my Mum was learning in, seemed so close to the floor! ANYWAY, at first the clarity of my vision made me feel a bit dizzy when I was driving, but I got used to it within a few days. Also, things seemed to move around in relation to each other a little bit, when I turned around. Never mind. And I picked a pair of frames that look really good on me as well! And they're so much more comfortable and secure than my old ones! Ah! The perks of working!

Well, on that subject, I had a haircut that same morning when I went for my eye test and to get my new glasses. I actually went to the hairdressers, instead of my sister doing it for me, which she does very well; she's self-taught, you know! But she's moved away to uni now, so it's back to the hairdressers 4 me when she's not here! (I'm getting to how this connects with work). Anyway, I had my hair cut shorter than normal 4 me, and this coupled with my new glasses constitutes noticeable changes to my self-image, (how I see myself as a person). This is a sign that I am somewhat more settled in my new job, which I started last December.
At first, I went through a period of uncertainty, as in any new job or other significant life change. There was increased anxiety, and some tears (I'm a bloke, and I'm not ashamed to admit that!) I talked to my Dad tearfully one Sunday afternoon. I have chosen to have plenty of people in my life who I can trust and talk to, but sometimes, I just want me Dad! So anyway, that's the way any significant change in your life goes: the way you used to see yourself goes, but you're in a bit of a limbo period until you've fully taken on you new identity/self-image. Well, I've learned, several years ago, that a change of appearance, especially hair, can be a sign of a change in self-image. Plus, yesterday, I bought a new office chair for my desk at home. Changes in your living space can also be a similar sign. So this is all good for me.

I'm still in a steep learning curve and gaining more and more experience at work, and I'm still settling into my new role, but that's ok. I know it's 'normal' and healthy, and my awareness of all these things makes the transition somewhat less difficult (but never easy!), than it might have been, in my past.

Anyways, I've talked enough for now, (catch up for all the time I missed when I couldn't access my old account, or was too busy!)
Bloggling is still fairly new to me, so I don't how people are going to respond to my mundane tales of glasses, hair and chairs! So please be kind when you post your responses! (I'm sure you all will!) So I'll post again soon, and bye 4 now!

Defiant

Feeling low

noreply@blogger.com (moira) — Fri, 02 Mar 2007 11:37:00 +0000

I'm just amazed some folk have commented on my blog - didn't think you would somehow - so I am connected to the universe.

No blog for sometime as felt too low - hopefully just coming out of it now, but not sure. Never really know if this is going to be another hellful mega- low or just a blip that's tedious but endurable. Not that I've had a mega-low full scale "clinical" depression for years - six actually - but the fear is always there. I have learnt to 'rate' the blips and I guess I'm on a 5/10 right now, which doesn't seem too bad - everything's relative when you've hit zero before - but still bad enough to have to drag yourself out of bed and not slip back in when you've got the first chance.

Perhaps its just hormonal, but PMT,MT and postMT seems too much - getting on to a third of your life that you're just waiting to pass.

O God, I don't want to do a blog that just moans on all the time, that I only write when I'm low rather than well, as then there's something better to do. I should check out some other blogs & see if they're more inspiring.

Perhaps I should be on lithium which is what "they" would have had after my second bi-polar episode 11 years ago - would that even out the blips or merely create a different "me"? I've been so anti-drugs, I am still sure they're not the solution, but then again I don't want to put up with feeling like this on and off for the rest of my life. I do need some 'strategies' - I've got some but always wonder if there's something new that might help.

I've had 3 major episodes in 17 years with 5 or 6 years between each. I've never written that down before - its like the opening line of an Alchoholics Anonymous meeting. I've always been so determined to deny any label or 'tendency', any pattern that I don't want to be part of me. Would 'acceptance' help 'recovery' - I hate that term, I don't really believe its possible as if your life is like an etch-a-sketch and you just erase the painful parts. I think after time you get on with it/get used to whatever, then "keep on keeping on".

Still mentally tussling on and off with my 11 (going on 16) year old son. Things came to a head a couple of evenings ago when I couldn't take the looks of derision/doormat treatment any longer and I was reduced to tears during our family tea - I went off crying upstairs. Later T came up and apologised and seemed quite upset himself and it was good to see that he could see me as a person with feelings sometimes. I know when I'm feeling less low that what we're going through with T is normal and natural and is probably the start of growing away from home and finding his own identity etc, but when I'm down anyway it feels like my baby who I've loved and done everything for over the years, including ignoring my own self and needs, is now rejecting me and that is so hurtful.

My partner P thinks I was too emotional in front of the children, but I don't know - I think children should realise that adults have feelings too, and that children's actions have consequences - otherwise how do they learn to express and resolve emotions themselves. Since that night T's been really sweet to me on the whole, asked how my day's gone and so on, which is lovely. I think P had a talk with him and explained that I was 'low' at the moment - but I didn't like him doing that. Is that hypocritical after what I just said above about recognising feelings?

My brain hurts, so I'll sign off for now.

HI FRIENDS

noreply@blogger.com (Gilly) — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 12:00:00 +0000

thank you all so much Sunseeker,Purul,Blueshawk,Emma,Chris,Adanac 67,Dominica I am going to send out what Ihope is humour Ibelieve laugh and the world laughs with you cry and you cry alone !sometimes you get tired!!!dont give up Idid it once and am over the moon Igot answers and requests?I dont own a computer I do this with the help of MAGMH so next Tues 27th please tune in?
LOVE GILLY

noreply@blogger.com (chris164) — Tue, 27 Feb 2007 13:59:00 +0000

It has been aaaages since my last post, so i apologise for that. As it's my first post in bout a month (sorry Purkul) i've completely lost the flow of what i've been talking about. The great thing that has happened since my last blog, is that there's loads of new bloggers. More interesting people that i can start comment on.

As far as me being up to anything, i haven't. A viral infection(my diagnosis) knocked me flat on my face at the beginning of the month(great start to the year). So i'm still recovering and trying to get my strength back. I haven't been quite so ill for a long time. Anyway that's the bad part.

The good things so far is that i'm going for my driving test soon, n that'll be another weight off my shoulders. I've also decided to start weight training again(first time in two years). The aim is to get to twelve stone in twelve weeks by gaining around 2kg a week. There's a long way to go yet, but progress is being made. I've got a consultation with a weight training guy at the end of the week, he may well asses my current body state, eating habits n general life stile and help me reach my goals.

At the moment i'm really optimistic about the future, n real happy to vent some stress on the weights at the end of the day.

Post Pancake Day

noreply@blogger.com (moira) — Wed, 21 Feb 2007 12:34:00 +0000

Amazingly enough we had a great evening with T being trite and helpful, apologetic and lovely - did he respect/need that boundary?

Sun's just occuring - can't decide whether this blogging business is for me or not. Isn't it just a little sad - like you've got no-one to talk to - 'tho I do feel like that just now.

Need to plan a treat - when's the next festival etc - must be St Paddy's when we're away to Aberystwyth for a spot of surfing and feasting.
A gap 'til then. Better go & practice making giant lanterns for workshops coming up at the school.

Hasta luegito.

Moira's maternal musings

noreply@blogger.com (moira) — Tue, 20 Feb 2007 11:14:00 +0000

Usual whirl on Tuesday mornings trying to get out the house with three packed dinners, swimming kit, PE kit, violin, stuff for clubs......and the 3 children. Eleven year old T kicking off again, werriting about being late but not enough to stop him pestering B. Drip-feed of irritation building 'til I have a hissy fit at him and he smirks - result for him. I feel bad - yet again - that I've lost my rag at him - its all on top of the weekend when he's been so vile that makes my tolerance so low.

So, I get myself ready then come down to tell T that he's to walk to school with us via the pool to make him think about how his behaviour affects all of us. T not happy - he starts walking and I tell him that if he goes off I won't let him play his match tonight. I set off with M and B thinking T'll follow me, but he doesn't, he's heading the short way to school. I tell him again the consequence, then keep going expecting him to catch us up. But he doesn't. So all the way to the pool I'm fuming and so to school.

What do you do? I don't want this job of constant nagging, telling, checking up, dishing out sanctions -but I can't resign, just "keep on keeping on". It's so much harder short-term to keep parenting & not give up/in, but I just hope it'll make for better more considerate humans long-term.

So to school to explain to T and scary PE teacher just why T is not going to match, in the hope that PE teacher might give him a telling off as well (but spare me). I'm in such a mood by now I don't want to get in an argument with her re. parental v. school responsibility - especially as she finds it hard not to talk to adults as if they were 6.

So, T will be in a mood for days. These are the happiest days of my life - not.

Will pancake day later bring any of the glimpses of the rewards which make it all worthwhile?

My new blog

noreply@blogger.com (Defiant) — Sat, 17 Feb 2007 22:24:00 +0000

Seeing as I seemed to forget my password for my other blogspot, I've created a new one! (Finally!)

Doing stupid things!

noreply@blogger.com (little miss sunshine) — Sat, 17 Feb 2007 19:12:00 +0000

Ever do something then hate yourself for it even though if you were in the same situation you'd probably do the same thing again. It's not so much the thing itself, although I do feel guilty, it's more the questions it raises about why it happened and what it means. It's not even that I want it to happen again, but I know it could and that's scary. Sorry for being vague, just not sure who's going to be reading this, although now it sounds even more dodgy!

It's not that big a deal. Something happened that messed with my head a bit and now I'm feeling anxious and scared and guilty. Had a few panic attacks lately and am a little worried it might set one off although feeling ok at the moment.

Anyway apart from that life is swell! Just been a bit hectic lately. Still trying not to feel guilty about stuff, but not been easy. Also have been smoking quite a bit lately, so not been feeling that great about that. Until next time..

1ST BLOGG

noreply@blogger.com (Gilly) — Tue, 13 Feb 2007 12:43:00 +0000

When diagnosed BI-POLAR like Queen Victoria "I was not amused"...

However me on a down day...

Me on a good day...

Today I'm all three!

Anyone feel the same?

GILLY

My busy week.

noreply@blogger.com (ajrj) — Tue, 30 Jan 2007 14:01:00 +0000

I've got a busy week this week-especially today. I don't mind though because it's keeping me motivated. I went to the family support centre yesterday. Today I've been to see my solictor. Then I came to the Media Action Group and later on I've got an appointment with my son's social worker. Tomorrow I'm starting a Business Administration course in Hanley which is on a Wednesday, Thursday and Friday and lasts for seven weeks. I'm feeling a bit nervous about the Business Administration course - mainly because there is an examination at the end of it. There is also a chance of the providers of the course being able to find me a job or a work placement at the end of it - depending on how well I do in the exam. They have also said that there will be homework with it as well. They've also told me that it's all women that have signed up for the course although they have being trying to encourage men to do the course as well. So that's me for the moment. Speak to you soon.

my first mind bloggling blog

noreply@blogger.com (ajrj) — Wed, 24 Jan 2007 12:35:00 +0000

i'm feeling really cold today.

New Year Blues

noreply@blogger.com (little miss sunshine) — Mon, 22 Jan 2007 13:37:00 +0000

I always find this time of year difficult for so many reasons. It's dark, cold and depressing for a start, but there is also all this pressure to improve yourself and better yourself. I think I need to try and learn to be happier with who I am and also to focus on the here and now and not on the future too much.

Taken a couple of days off work to re-evaluate and take stock. Being a Mum doesn't leave me much time to do this and in order to stay sane I really need it. Things have been getting on top of me and I really needed a break. I'm already nearly through the first day and I haven't really done very much at all. Trying not to feel guilty - a bad habit of mine. The washing up is still not done and the million things I was going to try and get done are still on my to do list, unticked. Still I have got things a little more in perspective now. I have a nasty habit of looking to far ahead and worrying and thinking too much. I have refocused my mind just on the next couple of weeks and what I want to achieve in that time. I like to set goals for myself. It helps focus my mind on something so that it doesn't get too full of loads of other stuff. I have to make them really achievable, like I gave up smoking last year and one of my goals is to keep off the fags. My head just seems programmed to feel guilty and negative towards myself. I unconsciously set myself very high standards and when I don't live up to these I feel like I've failed. When I look at what I'm thinking and realise what I'm doing though it really helps.

noreply@blogger.com (chris164) — Mon, 15 Jan 2007 11:43:00 +0000

Today was the day that my bike got sold and officially left the soil that its' stood on for the last 2-3 years. A little bit sad, but then on the other hand getting rid of it in the first place meant a new start and letting go of a dream that was never going to happen. So i've decided to up-load some photos to relive those great memories and what i'll be missing most, from the sport. I hope u like the photos!

thought i'd end the way i started riding (in ball breaking agony)

Now that i've taken up mountain biking through woods and down steps i get to keep an element of motocross, without the expense or pressure from myself. The exercise does me good as well and goes towards helping my general mental health for the week.

As this is only the second post in this new year i'd better say that i still have some optimism left in me, not all of it has drained away quite yet.

Guilt

noreply@blogger.com (little miss sunshine) — Thu, 11 Jan 2007 20:48:00 +0000

Why do I feel guilty so much of the time. Guilty when I'm watching TV, when I'm doing one thing and should be doing something else. The new year brings such promise of new starts and new beginnings, but so many of us are still trying to climb out of holes of the past. The weight of our lives now and the weight of yesturdays burdens leave us barely able to be move at all.

I feel fat and lazy at the moment and I'm too tired to do anything about it, therefore feeling more lazy and more guilt. Like everyone else I had an over indulgent Christmas, a really lovely over indulgent Christmas though. I am just so tired and sluggish now and a little depressed. I've taken some time off work next week and intend to get some rest, relaxation and some perspective. Try to reconnect with my spiritual side i.e.God.

Anyway sorry that my first blog is a bit dark, but if I can't be honest here, then where can I be. I'm not this miserble normally, honest. The New Year always get me thinking about re-evaluating my life and trying to improve my life and my health etc.. I did give up smoking last year, so I can do it when I try. Not sure what this year's goals will be, possibly to be less hard on myself would help.

noreply@blogger.com (chris164) — Mon, 01 Jan 2007 02:07:00 +0000

Welcome to the New Year everyone!

I'm toasting the new year in with a Prawn cocktail in one hand and a bottle of wine in the other. Also keeping up the tradition of watching Jools Hollands' Hootenanny every year.

I hope your all having fun in the New Year!

Christmas blog

noreply@blogger.com (Chocolate Girl) — Tue, 26 Dec 2006 13:44:00 +0000

I did try to write a Christmas blog but the photo wouldn't download and without the photo the blog seemed pointless! Anyway, needless to say I'm slowly working my way through this lot..

Christmas blog

noreply@blogger.com (Chocolate Girl) — Tue, 26 Dec 2006 13:44:00 +0000

I did try to write a Christmas blog but the photo wouldn't download and without the photo the blog seemed pointless! Anyway, needless to say I'm slowly working my way through this lot..

noreply@blogger.com (chris164) — Mon, 25 Dec 2006 22:27:00 +0000

Merry Christmas

It's probably a little late for a Xmas blog in Britain but anyone in America and that way it might just about be fit for. Anyway Merry Christmas to everyone.

Ok day for me, i have just been relaxing all day(all you can do after Xmas dinner) and watching movies. Have picked up the bass for the first time in a while, that put a big smile on my brothers' face as we've been as loud as we could be for about 2 hours.

The food has been great as always and on time which was nice. Am now looking forward to cycling it all off again at the end of the week. The snow also didn't happen like I'd hoped even though it's cold enough for it. Other than no snow it's been an ok day.

As far as Christmas more so than new year's means to me. It's a time to look back and see how much i've achieved over the year. Not much. The real important achievement is the state of mind that i can now appreciate as healthier and happier one. You can't achieve this on your own. So i'd like to say thanks to everyone who's helped me get this far, i had a lot of doubt that i could ever have felt happy after the last couple of years.

Thanks everyone, and i big Xmas cheer from me!

Chocolate reprive

noreply@blogger.com (Chocolate Girl) — Tue, 12 Dec 2006 17:17:00 +0000

I firsty wrote a blog 7 weeks ago today. In it I said how I'd been told that it takes 7 weeks to break a habit. My theory, therefore, was that if I stopped eating chocolate from that date, by today's date I'd now be free of my chocolate habit.

Well, what's the outcome's been? Yes, you've guessed it, I haven't stopped eating chocolate! But I have cut down; for my birthday I'd been bought a BIG box of chocs and within 3 days I'd nearly eaten the top layer - big wake up call! So, for a whole week I didn't eat a chocolate bar (a week and a day really as I had a packet of maltesers (my argument being that it isn't a chocolate BAR) on day 8 - and I made them last for 3 hours!).

POSITIVE THOUGHT:

It's Christmas in 12 days - lots of chocolate!